The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So recently I have decided to really listen when ABF (or even others) is talking. I do not plan what I am going to say and decide that I do not have to defend anything I do.
I am realizing that everyone has a right to their opinion and their right to express it.
I feel like I am soaking in a lot and learning more about somebody by really hearing what they say. If I get offended, that's ok. That's my issue. I am going to live my life by doing what I have learned is best for me.
Anybody can choose to be open minded and let people speak. It's hard, but it's what i am working on. It seems to make me listen to a lot more of what I myself am saying, and I don't always like what I hear. Really trying to think before I speak.
Slow it down. I really don't know why I posted this lol.
Thank you for posting your thoughts on" Keeping an Open Mind" You very succinctly described how I use to listen without listening.
I agree it is not easy . I really learned how to do this at alanon meeting. Simply listening, without giving advise, without cross talk enabled me to really "Hear " what others were saying.
I also felt the benefits of this "Listening" and how by doing this the negative voices in my head stopped. I no longer was judging, evaluating and pronouncing guilt on the speaker---I was listening and learning
Thanks hotrod. Now after reading what you have written, I realize that it has taken me this long to listen, to him. I guess learning to listen to people isn't hard, and can be quite interesting. But learning to listen to somebody you are "sick of" lol, takes a lot more time and usually turns out to be a little more hurtful. Thanks for making me think about that.
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