Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Update on Mixed emotions
Post Info TOPIC: Update on Mixed emotions
Evian


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 67
Date:
Update on Mixed emotions
Permalink  

I just went to go to our one family email, where I discovered 4 emails from the one questionable site linked from fb. One was confirming the new account, and 3 were notifications of new messages for HIM!!

He doesn't know that I know, and at first I was really angry, and upset. I didn't tell him or lead on that I know ( I didn't read the emails, just left them unopened.)

Now, I've calmed down.... and I've decided not to confront him about it. There would be no sense in that, it would just cause an argument.

__________________
I am a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon
RLC


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1483
Date:
Permalink  

Evian,

I consider not reacting a form of detachment that allows us take care of our self first while maintaining our serenity. Tonight you proved it works.

HUGS,
RLC

__________________

danielle0516


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 302
Date:
Permalink  

(((Evian))). I'm sorry to hear this. I totally understand not wanting to sleep with the A...how can you when almost everything they say and do makes you sick? It's totally understandable. I have done it regardless, I mean, the moment was nice (meaning he wasn't drunk at the time) and even sometimes a week before was ok, but still, afterward I would feel not so great and wonder who I was doing it for, me or him? And if I was doing it for me, well... I have toys for that, and they don't lie to me and drive me crazy like he does! ;) Am I allowed to talk about that on here? Sorry moderator if I'm being bad. I'm an open book.

I have been there with the secret emails and chat and computer stuff, obsessed over reviewing the history, then AH got smart and used "private browsing mode", then I got smarter and installed software that could spy on him anyway, then I found out a whole whack of things that tore my life apart.

Unfortunately, I do not think there is a limit to what A's will do...they aren't in their right mind, they rarely have a mind, can't think straight or clearly, can't reason ect... So, just remember, it's yet another symptom of the disease. I always remind myself that drinking is only one of many many symptoms of alcoholism.

The ONLY think that ever makes me feel better, less crazy, normal even, is alanon and focusing on myself.

And trust me, I have done everything in between.

Not reacting on your part is fantastic - good job! For me, it's another way of practicing detachment, which helps me to stay sane.

take care,
Danielle

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Update on Mixed emotions