The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
has anyone out there experienced anything like this? the rage doesnt always seem to be brought on by anything particular but escalates to total anger over the smallest thing.
When living with an alcoholic, you expect a lot of drama and rage. He is probably raging at himself.
Glad you turned to Alanon for a helping hand. When I was married to the alcoholic, there was times of raging and lots of times it was used to try and cover up the drinking , anything to divert attention away from his drinking, Like I didnt know.
You dont say if he is raging at you or just raging. I hope that you are able to turn around and leave the room. You dont have to take it.
Have you been to any face to face Alanon meetings in your area??? This will help you immensely, if you cant there are plenty of experiences to share with you here and much useful advice . Welcome to our family of MIP & Alanon. Keep coming back.
Luv, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Wednesday 12th of January 2011 12:38:10 AM
Aloha Monarae and welcome to the board...Rage is usual inside of the disease and is evidence that the alcoholic has lost control. Loosing control is typical for an alcoholic for many reasons. If they are drinking the alcohol itself with guarantee a loss of control and loosing control will make some alcoholics "fight" to maintain it. When he is raging get out of "victim" position whatever is best available to you cause out of control rage means you don't have the same importance or value and neither does alot of other stuff as when he is not drinking.
Another part of loss of control comes from when they are drinking they are not growing or maturing and less able to handle life situations that non-drinkers or users wouldn't even get flustered with. Raging is kinda sorta like high level tantruming...imagine a "BIG" big baby wanting their way, as much as they want when they want it and not getting their spoiled self centered personalities satisfied. It really is like that and because this baby is now BIG and fustrated...taller, heavier, stronger; get out of the area.
Rage has it's own chemicals...for him testosterone and massive doses of adrenalin which the brain and emotions get "drunk" under the influence on. Alcoholics have "Black outs" while ragers have "Red outs" which mentally and physically are very alike.
This is from my own personal experiences. Take what you like...leave the rest.
Get out of the fragmentation and impact zones. You are responsible to save your own back side. This is one of the items that head the list on what we are powerless over...don't even try to calm a rager. There are others who do a much better job.
Yes. I have dealt with that. With my experience, it started off with small things at first. Then he started getting mad at me. Over time, things started getting broken. I'm very lucky that one of those things was not me. I had to leave. I had to live in a hotel for a while, now I live by myself. It's unexpected and it hurts when someone that loves you acts in these ways. I had an escape plan and hotline numbers in my phone in case things escalated. Unfortunately, they usually do. Hopefully that is not what will happen in your situation.
