The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is my 39th Wedding Anniversary. I was so happy that day - and for most of the years thereafter. Good thing we cannot see round corners!
I made an effort. I bought him a card, although it took me quite a long time to find one that just said "Happy Anniversary Husband" rather than "Happy Anniversary Wonderful Husband"! He bought me a lovely card and wrote in it: "Thank you for putting up with me all these years, I love you very much" So maybe there is a glimmer of his understanding of what he has/is putting me through.
I made a nice supper (fillet steak) and had a bottle of champagne saved from Christmas. I even lit a candle. We manged not to row over supper which was something and he has taken himself off to bed now. (Early for us even in UK - it was 8.30pm when he went and it is 9.30pm now)
Adding to the slightly surrealness of the day is the fact we have not shared a kiss, not a peck on the cheek, or even a hug. I don't want to kiss him and I have no idea what is going through his mind.
Thank you for always being here and "listening". I haven't posted for a while simply because nothing has changed, really; AH has certainly not changed. After a period of not drinking so much, (he never actually stopped) and being almost "normal", he is back drinking in earnest. I am still with him because it is so hard to just disregard the last 39 years. My life is not unrelenting misery. I am lucky in having a support network of wonderful real life friends with whom I can go out, have a laugh, e-mail, phone or text when things are bad. And, of course, I have my fantastic MIP family who are always here to give unstinting support.
Wow what an inspiration - 39 years of marriage, I've only been married a couple of years now. Its so nice to hear of couples who have been together through the good and the bad. From what you mention, you have and continue to have some really tough times because of his drinking. Good to read that you have decided to come back. Hugs to you.
Congrats on your anniversary You are a testiment to your recovery. There is absolutly nothing wrong with loving or being married to an A. They are as deserving of love and comapssion as anyone else maybe even more as they have such demons to fight. Sounds like your husband made the best effort his disease will allow and I am sure he loves you. Great post
I agree with Xeno that it sounds like your AH made the best effort he could under the circumstances. Congrats again - hope you have a wonderful evening.
Congratulations on your anniversary - for better or worse. I say that I have been married 36 years (Christmas eve) and my AHsober has been married for 30 years (he left five years ago). I can't let go - too painful and too many memories. For him, he just says he wants out. It is sad and the disease of alcohlism, sober or drinking, takes another relationship. I am thankful for our three sons from this marriage. I am thankful for all the good that came out of this marriage. I am so happy that your husband could at least say something nice to you.
