The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I guess the new year starting tomorrow and a rough week with AH has me asking myself do I really want to do this another year. Through al anon i have found a peace that I havent had for years in my life. What I'm struggling with is not having a real relationship with my AH. It leaves me feeling very, empty and alone. I have family and friends that I do things with but they cant replace the emotional, physical, and companionship I need from my ah. If i could leave I would have years ago, but I take care of my 86 year old mother in the home I was raised in. I feel very trapped. I love my ah very much but the good times for the past year can be counted on one hand. I want out but he won't leave. I know life can be so much better and thats all i really want. I just feel very lost.
Aloha S...Happy New Year (inside job). Your share reminded me of the "s"es of the program...Serenity Prayer, Sponsor, Steps, Slogans, stillness and silence, spirituality, self care and soul. Those help me to stay in the second if need be and not feel I have to live the entire year before the first day arrives.
Sarebaer, I know that feeling so well. I think it is a sign of growth. At first I just accepted an "empty" relationship as the way it had to be, the best a relationship could get. When I started to believe relationships didn't have to be impersonal and lonely, it was depressing in one way, but in another way it was freeing. It was depressing because I realized I had signed myself up for something that left me starving emotionally. But it was freeing because I realized that if I had chosen that, I had the power to make choices.
I hope in the next year we can all continue to make choices that protect and nurture ourselves.
Let this be a year of change...of hope, of peace, of love, of serenity. You can make 2011 whatever you want it to be. One thing we forget is we are in complete control of our lives. Take that control and do with it what you will....for you.....life is so short....Live happy. Only you can make the decision. Happy New Year!
I am very lonely too right now. Wondering if he safe and sound. I am not used to being on my own. I understand how you feel. How you want the inner strength you need to come to the suface.
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Take it one day at a time. If that is too much take it a minute at a time.
