The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been a way from Al-anon for three years now, every now and again i pop back into MIP and say hi and share my life with you all. I still practice my programme and pass on wisdom when i can, funnily enough i'm still coming across people who are affected by another's drinking. Like everyone else i have good days and bad, the majority good, i've got a whole new attitude my smile never fades, my laughter never halts, tears oh yeah i can have them from time to time, i don't sit and dwell on my past or what could have been in my life. I don't dream any longer i get out there and make it happen for myself and this year i have found something i've been searching for my whole life, i've found the woman within.
I know the way we are drawn to alcoholics, even sober ones, and once again i spent the last year with a recovering alcoholic, the same one i've been involved with for twenty three years, twice in an intimate way.. I'm glad i can say that once again i allowed him to use me, i believed he would change and once again i left myself wide open for a let down. But on a better note i have finally walked away from him after seeing through new eyes that i am indeed an "object" to him, his selfishness and arrogance has finally shown their true colours to me. I'm not perfect in anyway shape or form, but i treat others as i would like to be treated, with an alcoholic, well that's not always possible.
Something i'm really struggling with on this new years eve, i have a crazy, open personality and i can mix with people very well, i don't require alcohol to give me courage, i don't like it and i choose not to drink it. My childhood was wrecked by alcohol and whenever i'm in a room with people drinking i automatically go on red alert, i'm waiting for that first raised voice, raised fist, and it does scare me, although i can handle drunks god knows i've had plenty of practice in my life. I also don't like New Year as many people don't it brings back bad memories i've tried so hard to let go of.
Does anyone else ever feel like this because they don't drink, does it make me weird, i don't think so because i'm happy as i am and i'm far from boring. Why can't people just leave me alone and accept me as someone who prefers not to drink????
Here's hoping you all have a healthy and if you can't be happy lets hope your content and on the road to finding your true happiness.
Ally, Im with you. I don't drink either. I dont need it to have fun.
I have 2 OZ. of wine , a couple times of year. I am diabetic also, so its good that I have no problem with it.
I like you, dont really enjoy parties. There is always, whatelse, drinking going on.
I have this cousin, young and beautiful who is a drinker. It was her Birthday and I was invited, I really didnt want to go, because I knew there would be a lot of drinking. I am close to her Mom and she had put a lot of effort into her daughters 40th birthday. This young cousin questioned me about not drinking. I told her I didnt want to drink. She said well you dont look like you are in a good mood she told me. It was right on the tip of my tongue,(because Im here with you is why Im in a bad mood) but I didnt say it. She was only at her party for 1/2 an hour, she was so drunk and sick she had to sleep it off in her car. While we at Birthday cake. I didnt enjoy myself and from that day, for myself I made a boundary, I will never be in her company again.
You shouldnt feel wierd if you dont drink. Everyone is drinking to be where you are happy and fun. I guess as far as people not leaving you alone regarding drinking, you know the old adage, "Misery loves company". Happy New Year Ally!!
-- Edited by Bettina on Friday 31st of December 2010 02:08:34 PM
I used to have that same issue. I realized that the friends I chose was the problem and to dig a little deeper why I chose those people. Once I worked on myself, I found different qualities appealing in people and chose different friends. Now I have friends that drink very little or not at all and are much like I am.
Hi I am new to this forum. I found this one was real current so thought I would add something. It is snowing here and thought this might act as a meeting so I don't have to go out and drive.
You know, lately it seems like there is both more people who don't like non-drinkers around, but also another person here or there that has a relative or friend in the program. So its a mixed bag for me. It is hard to trust people and keep boundaries in place. It seems like it is tough for everyone to find something to do that creates togetherness and fun and yet is not a full on planning requiring event. I take it on a case by case basis most of the time. But this year was a stressful year for us. My father died in April. There is grief rippling around and some relatives are not at their best. I am staying home today just to diminish the stress in general. But yesterday I took a risk and went to lunch with some other women I had not been to lunch with before--not program people. It was fun and I got to see myself in the works in a new somewhat safe situation. I did grumble a bit. My spouse had done something to the computer which set me back because several emails did not go through as they were supposed to. I mentioned it, they responded with the same bewilderment I had as to why that would have happened. I felt justified that we all saw the code for control in there. Thus with my reality check in hand I am trying to let it go. But today it is back. I think that is why I am seeking a computer generated discussion. Are these things safe? Anyway I know the only thing I can change is me. Thanks for sharing. vjm
