Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> need to change my behavior
Post Info TOPIC: need to change my behavior
BlazeB


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 3
Date:
need to change my behavior
Permalink  

My dearest friend of 20 years suffers from alcoholism. After 20 years of dealing with all this craziness I have become sick from it all. I feel like a dead person walking. When she is on one of her binges I worry myself into panic mode. Frustration, anger and anxiety are my constant companions. I check on her, call her, worry, worry, worry . . .
This evening she came out of it long enough to call me . . . then told me she needed booze and threatened that if I didn't go get it for her she would go out herself. She knows how to push my worry buttons! I never buy her booze and refused to buy her booze. I was on my way over to see her but then turned around and headed home. I really can't stand this anymore. It has made me hate my life. I now suffer from chronic anxiety, no joy, always on edge. I want my life back but I can't turn my back on this friendship and I can't stand to see this and be exposed to it anymore. I feel paralyzed and demotivated. I need support. Thank you for listening.



__________________
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  



Aloha Blaze...welcome to the MIP Family.   Now go to the white pages of your local
telephone book and look up the hotline number for Al-Anon...call that number and
get the other phone numbers to talk to someone live or the meeting places and times
where you can come sit with us face to face as we help save each others sanity.
(((((hugs))))) smile

__________________
liam


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 19
Date:
Permalink  

Welcome Blaze.

your not alone. I'm new to alanon also, and in the short time I been things have gotton just a little bit better. not so much in my situation but inside me. I have been taking action, ( thats a key word arund here ) with some of the things I been learning. stick around you can become unparalyzed. and please do find some live alanon meetings.

__________________

 The chains of habit are too weak to be felt   
 until they are too strong to be broken. ----- Samuel Johnson
Tracy


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 987
Date:
Permalink  

It does get better if you become part of the al anon fellowship, we understand we have experienced how this disease wrecks lives.  When I first joined al anon I felt overwhelmed by the support and friendship I recieved I could talk without feelig judged or unloyal to my partner.  It really does work I feel so much happier today and I am starting to enjoy my life again.

hope you can find a meeting to attend in you area and keep coming on here for support
hugs

__________________
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

Have you read,"Getting Them Sober?" I believe  you would find help there.

I can tell you care for her very much. This book honestly saved me as I loved my A also.

Where you are, the way you feel, is where we want our A's to be. Tired of  it, done with it, will do anything to change it.

When we intervene, we take that away. She has to learn it for herself.

hugs! debilyn

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

Dear Blaze

I too have uttered those exact same words and have found solace and help for my pain in the rooms of alanon. 

Yes,  this disease of alcoholism is dreadful and carries a painful price for all who encunter it.  Please keep coming here, Focus on living your life one day at a time, pray, post, know that you are powerless over alcohol and your friend and please keep coming back

There is hope and help

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
xeno59


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1138
Date:
Permalink  

Blaze

Welcome!
As already suggested get yourself to an alanon meeting ASAP
You will learn that you don't need to turn your back on your friend but can stop feeding her behaviors and keep her from pushing those buttons.
My son is an addict and i about worried myself into an early grave.
i now find prayer is much more helpful for my own peace of mind than worrying
They say If you are going to worry don't pray and if you are going to pray then don't worry
Please get youself into alanon meetings, we also have meetings here online in the meeting room twice daily and they are awesome. When meetings are not in progress then it becomes an open chat room if you ever feel the need to pop in for some support.
We truly understand your worries and fears and are here to give you our experience, strenght and hope whenever you need it!
Welcome to the family....you will never be sorry to have joined our family
Blessings

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> need to change my behavior