The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
You guys have shared so much esh this last week, I am so humbled. thank you.
I am sitting here wrapped up in a dark green feather blanket with my ginger cat winnie. sauvey the great Pyr is chewing on a bone, loudly! Zillions of red house finches are at the feeders not 4 feet from me! cute38'!
Now I know I am old as I enjoy my two buck thermo meter I got and my birds...
Got my wash caught up, but it was constantly slowed down as my parrot reeba discovered the dryer....she kept getting up there peering in. I asked her if she wanted to go for a spin...
Its funny as I use a kerosene heater. It sits in the middle of my living room. I put blankets around it.So of course the dogs are laying next to it waiting for me to light it. Its neat as you can see the fire, I can control how much fuel to use. I cannot stand heat that I don't know what the bill will say! ug
Its peaceful with no A to deal with. Well I should say peaceful to not have to live with someone who is always unhappy and complains. Its very healing to really look for the good. KNOW the good.
I have not been spending on anything but needs. Been super careful. I am so serene in that area. To have our needs met, feels so good. That is not to say I am still trying to figure out how to pay my past due, car registration. gads.
I just don't go much. look for cops, and plan to head to dmv if one is behind me..lol small down here btw.
I am so frugal, hang cloths all over in the house to dry. wall to wall dogs. Now if I had my AH here, things would not be so relaxed. I would keep the house as perfect as I could. Why? He never asked me to, he did dishes, would do anything I asked of him.
But you know, even if I lived with a non A I would be doing my best to keep on top of things. Now what makes me like that? I see people on tv where things are not always in their place. Both are ok with that.
Could it be that was on thing that attracts an A to me? Ya sure know where ya stand with me.
I would not let anyone in my house right now. blankets all over, dog on my leather couch on a blanket, dog on a recliner, dog and cat next to me on my dbl. recliner, pom dog next to me on a blanket on my side table. lol dog at my feet. slipper on kitchen floor one by the door. Bonniejo my Newfie mix loves to grab my slippers that always await me next to my bed...hmmmm
door is open....brrrr but i like the fresh air...
Nothing exciting. oatmeal, I like oatmeal. gotta go throw alfalfa for the horses, llama and sheep. grain them all and feed Barlow the big mean turkey.
HOping no one died last night as I have two very stick pot pigs, very very old. sigh.
I've found I create a lot of my own stress, trying to impose some sort of standard of housekeeping perfection on my place. And, with dogs, it's a constant battle!
Hope the piggies are okay.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Happy Saturday in Eden! Sounds marvelous, as usual. And now that I am not on my own paradise - I am a bit envious! I am so glad you share - now I live vicariously through you!
Guess what I did!
I went to the Nutcracker ballet!!!!!! Hey, if I am going to live in the city, might as well take advantage of it! It was s p e c t a c u l a r!!!! Watching those people who work everyday to perfect their passion and then come on stage and give it all to us. All the sets, the children, the costumes. There is so much effort and it costs so little. Then people show up in jeans . . . ok I won't go there. I personally dressed nicely - I feel it speaks to my respect and honor for them and their work. Anyway, it brings a tear to my eye it is so beautiful. I sat there and wondered with so much beauty in the world - how come we chose to be so miserable at times.
Anyway....
So - I didn't park very well. Downtown just terrifies me. In fact the whole thing terrified me - but I WENT! So I find this parking garage I think is close. Well, it wasn't miles away, but in the rain and high heels it was a good distance. Watched the show, headed back to my car . . . and the parking garage is closed!!! My truck is locked inside. This is a pretty dark, not very busy area - which in the city is SCARY. I call the cab company and while I am on the phone I hear a gentleman say "do you need in the garage"? Ends up it is a residential area and just requires a card to get inside. He let me in, very nice guy - made a new friend - and I got my car and headed home.
Always and adventure. But I DID IT!!! No panic involved.
Tonight I was going to go ballroom dancing, but I think that is all the excitement I can handle for one weekend. Not to mention my feet hurt after walking all that distance in heels. I chose a nice warm wool blanket, my dog curled up on my feet, and a good book. I can dance next weekend.
As for the housekeeping - I did the same thing with my exA. I think it is natural and it feels good to do it for them. I don't know if he ever noticed - but that is ok too.
And of course I am feeling SO CLOSED IN here. So today I am out back and it is raining and I am cleaning the pool anyway. Last night's winds put quite a few leaves in it. I am getting wet. I am sure the neighbors think I am crazy. (I HATE that I have to worry about what my neighbors think of my actions 6 feet out my back door!!!! GRRRRR!!!) Oh yeah, I chose this didn't I. But I loved it. In the country, with animals - it is rain or shine - and getting out and feeling nature - even if just from above - was wonderful.
You are very blessed.
tlc
-- Edited by tlcate on Saturday 18th of December 2010 11:24:37 PM
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
