The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been struggling and for months over my 18yo daughter leaving home and her behavior and of course my over reacting, obsessing, controlling, etc actions.
Thru the help I have been given from this program I have been learning to let go. let her live and try to focus on myself.
This past week I received a call from her that she was planning to move across the country with her boyfriend. They had no plan no money and no jobs where they were headed, just going to pack the car and go.
Of course I was distressed but kept my mouth shut, tried to be supportive and just let her know that I loved her and was here for her. Less than a day later she has decided to move back home.
I cant even begin to tell you how relieved I am to have her here, safe, where she is loved and will be taken care of.
I had an enjoyable day with her today, just hanging out, talking and going to lunch. But, as the day went on I can see that my work on myself has only just begun. Having her here and learning to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business and allow her to be her own person, find her voice, her path and make her decisions and live with her consequences will be a daily challenge.
I feel like my recovery with her will be taken to a whole new level. I already found myself today focusing on what she was doing and asking some questions that I should really just leave alone. The good part is that I am aware of it now and am starting to catch myself quicker.
I really need to find a sponsor and do some step work soon. I hate to have things regress back to how they were earlier in the year.
I try to read some alanon acoa readings daily and focus on some simple slogans. Today is was expectations. I am trying not to have expectations for anyone other than myself today.
Hi, I can so relate to your post I too find it a daily struggle to mind my own business with the people I love and to keep the focus on myself. I can hear so much awareness in your share I too am aware of how much work I have to do. However I also have gratitude that i am in al anon and becoming more and more awake to the work I need to do. I watched an episode of Super nanny this morning on t.v the mother and father would no let their children do much and were very controlling I could see there fear they wanted to protect their children. I know it is fear and worry that feeds my controling and caretaking but just as I had to watch my children fall when they were learning to walk I have to step back and let others make their own choices and face their own consequences.
Great share good to know I am not the only one struggling with these issues. friends in recovery tracy x
Great news I am so happy that your daughter is home and your program worked. Keep up the mediation and the use of slogans Your are right about the Steps they are the avenue to recovery .
I found that the slogan Let Go and Let God really summed up the first 3 Steps for me. If I could use that slogan when I was tempted to say something or control it worked!!!
Hi Ginger thats so good to hear that she is back home with you, how wonderful, the steps have just started over on the step work board, we are on number 3, but there are postings on number 4 as well, click on the link above for the step work board, and come in an join us, Steps 1 to 3, are active so join in on any of them, or just browse and use them to help you,
What is ACOA? and where would I find daily readings please?
