Open AA meetings would be a REALLY great place to hear some stories directly from Alcoholics.  Also the Big Book has some fantastic ones.

All of the stories I have heard - it varies.

My experience is that it doesn't have to be tramatic, but definitely can be.  Something difficult and alcohol makes you feel better.  Some peoples whole lives are difficult, or so they imagine, and they don't feel normal until they drink, or drug, or sex, or gambling or, eating or whatever. 

I personally don't believe that it is a disease, but I do believe that the steps taken in the program can help you gain sobriety, a healthier mental outlook and happiness that doesn't require any addictions to achieve.

AA meetings are so wonderful.  I highly recommend it.  You will learn more about alcoholism that you could reading about it.  It is a good road to compassion and understanding.  Oh, you can also hop over to the AA MIP message board.  They are a wonderful group of folks.  They are part of our MIP family.

tlc

Hi Danielle.....met my A in highschool, he was a partier, like most guys at our school. He drank to get drunk every weekend. We had our first child at 18, after we moved in together, he would drink alot, have the guys over, go out with them, not come home until the bars closed, or the next morning. I watched this get progressively worse as the years went on, by the time he was 23 he began binging, he would disappear for days at a time. This was when we started our own company. Being the boss/owner enabled him to do what he wanted, he would pick up a couple shooters and drink in the morning. This year was his first year he went into rehab. (he did not stay)

I've learned that they are born with the genetic disposition, and I believe that, his dad and grandpa are/were both alcoholics. My A once told me that he learned that once you cross that line of alcohol abuse and alcoholism, you can never go back, he put it as being "you start off as a cucumber, but then you soak yourself in the 'sauce' and become a pickle....once you become a pickle, you can never be a cucumber again" I also have learned that when an alc starts drinking in their younger years, that their brain stops maturing from that point on, so they are forever trapped as that age in their mind. So my 38 year old A has a pretty much a 17-19 year old mentality.

hi everyone. Thanks for all your replies.

Thanks Tlcate - I have been to several open AA speaker meetings (I find them very inspiring!) and have heard alcoholics tells their story's, I've read some in the big book as well as over on the AA boards. It's also been my experience that it varies...

I was, I suppose, more curious about data, research, medical facts ect.. regarding that aspect of the disease.

I too believe that A's are born with it in them, then, depending on a variety of factors, environment, opportunity, circumstances, stress... the disease strikes full on. This can happen at 14 years old, or at 40.

David - the A drinking and curing their inner turmoil... In my experience, that is definitely true.

Although, I rarely ever drink anymore, but when I used to every other weekend go out with friends and get drunk, I did feel less shy, less inhibited...but had FUN and booze didn't cross my mind until the next time we made plans to go out... I guess that's the difference? ...

Hi guys

I often get very confused about this, and like Tricia dont believe its a disease going by my own experience, there were ten kids in my family, all fed alcohol as young as five, the babies were given it in their bottles to help them sleep, we were all raised by two alcoholic parents, so we all had predisposition, the only difference to the other 9 and myself is that I was abused even more than any of the others and suffered far more than any of them, yet, I was the only one who never had an addcition, to drugs or alcohol, or didnt get in trouble with the law.

I did binge drink, and was always a very happy drunk, although when I drank it was because I was in turmoil, but always found the drink lifted me, and made me cheery, and giddy, so my life story should be the classic case for alcoholism and yet its not???????????????

I began drinking outside my home at the age of 12, with the full intention of using alcohol to numb out and medicate, I often went too far with it, and remember waking one morning at the age of 14 and having cravings, this scared me and I stopped drinking for 3 years, started again at 17 and again got the cravings so stopped again, what I am saying is that I was always able to recognise that it was getting out of hand and I was able to stop, even though I had been drinking very heavy and often, so thats why I find it confusing,

A psychologist I know, who is a leading expert in this field, believes its a choice, you choose to drink or not to drink, hope I dont offend anyone on here, as thats not my aim, I often wonder why I was different, having had all the factors of alcoholism to hand, and now wonder about my husband who told me he couldnt cope without alcohol, for 22 years, that he simply couldnt get by without it, but hey presto, as soon as I leave him and he wants me back he hasnt touched a drop for 7 months and doesnt seem to be struggling and hasnt mentioned cravings, whereas, when I was with him and he didnt drink the cravings seem to be very dominant and he really struggled with them?

failte

Hi Falite. I wish I knew all the answers! I wish there was a 'cure' and that this disease/condition whatever you want to call it.... was better understood and that there wasn't so much stigma attached to it.

I do know, have read while researching, that after a while...picking up that first drink (which is the one that gets them drunk) is no longer even a choice...that they are 'so far gone' in their disease.... it just isn't a choice anymore...anymore than we can choose whether or not we breath.

I too, as a teenager, got drunk all the time and did a lot of different drugs. All I cared about was getting drunk on the weekend and was obsessed with figuring out who would buy it for us, where we would go, how would I get money ect... I was irritable and mean when my mom wouldn't give me money, or if I spend all my paycheck money already. I loved being drunk and ensuring that would happen was my goal all week long...

I wasn't like you in that I didn't want to drink cause I was in turmoil - I drank because I wanted to have fun. Sometimes I had a great time, and other times I would get all emotional and cry about something, usually a boy.

That being said, I just grew out of it, started hanging out with different people, so I guess for me environment played a big role? Then I got pregnant when I was 17 and just stopped everything (smoking, drugs drinking) completely, It wasn't even hard (maybe a bit for the smoking).

Now, I maybe get drunk once or twice a year at some kind of big event or a night out with my friends. I also have a glass of wine or a drink or two once every month about...and that's it.

I also don't like drinking because I have the WORST hangovers imaginable. I literally cannot do anything the next day - I puke all day, have a pounding headache, feel so nauseous I sometimes panic cause I feel like a can't breath - it's horrible.

Are you positive your husband is forsure not drinking, at all?

When my AH manages to stay sober for a bit (4-5 days tops) he never admits to me how he really feels.. he'll just say "I feel great" or "I feel ok" .

Of course he doesn't feel great! He's probably so overwhelmed with emotions he hasn't allowed himself to feel because he's usually drunk all the time, he's sweating, anxious ect.. he's withdrawing... so, that doesn't feel great!

He just can't admit that he feels like crap. I don't push it either.

I think the fact that both your parents were Alcoholics and that 8 out of 9 of their children became addicts speaks volumes toward the genetic predisposition toward alcoholism.

WHy you didn't turn out A, I don't know.. luck of the draw?

Does your hubs go to AA?

Perhaps you leaving him, and him being on his own, probably really wanting you back, was the slap in the face he needed to reach out for help??

I've thought a lot about this and I have a theory as to how it all works.  It seems clear to me that some people are born with a predisposition, in that drinking alcohol makes them happy, calm, pleasantly numb, or what have you.  My A ex said that the first time he tried alcohol, he knew he was going to end up an alcoholic, because it felt so good.  I don't want to be complacent and say alcoholism could never happen to me, but I've never felt that fabulous feeling that he reports.  Alcohol just makes me feel a little sleepy and nauseated.  If anything made me feel the way he describes alcohol, I'd probably be doing it all the time too.  So there but for the grace of God go I.

But even with that predisposition, my guess is that there needs to be another layer or two before someone becomes an alcoholic.  One layer might be a past with a lot of deep pain.  But a lot of people also have deep pain and they aren't alcoholics.  So the way I look at it, the last layer is that the person has developed a habit of going numb to deal with their pain, rather than more active ways of processing it.  Like, they were in pain and they took a drink and hey! they felt better.  So they took another drink.  And next time they felt bad they took another drink.  And over time they hard-wired themselves to cope with pain by drinking.  And this meant they never learned healthier ways to deal with difficulty.  So the drinking was their only coping skill.  This might explain why people switch addictions so often.  If somehow the drink's not available, or you're trying to give it up, you still cope with pain by trying to numb out.  So what else helps you numb out?  Drugs, or gambling, or sex, or clinging to relationships, or whatever -- all relying on some outside source for comfort, instead of dealing with it internally.

In my ex's case, he didn't become an alcoholic the first time he had a drink.  The way I understand it, he was pretty much okay until he got to a really stressful period in his life.  Then obviously his subconscious said, "How do we deal??"  And it remembered, "Hey, alcohol brings back the good feelings.  Get some, and quick."  And he did, and it "worked," and so he drank some more.... we all know how that kind of story goes.

Anyway, that's the way I think of it ... YMMV.

I don't think there is a solid answer.  It seems that it varies and differs greatly as far as being able to stop drinking and how it affects the body.  Some people can quit and that's it  Others almost physically die trying.  What makes one person suffer with the DT's, and organ failure and the other can only suffer aggrivation?

There are many similarities with alcoholics and their actions, but how they process the alcohol has much to do with mentality and their individual body's way of dealing with it.

I've never been concerned with what alcoholism is called (a disease or not).  It makes no difference in my frame of reference.  It is what it is.
It will be pondered for eternity.  Kind of like some people believe people are born gay and others insist they choose it.  The result is the same, they are gay and always will be.

Christy