The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As most of you on here will know I had my son removed from my family home a ten days ago, as he was to move into an apartment with my husband and I was to move back to my marital/family home.
My son was furious with me understandably and it was a very difficult time, and I settled down here expecting to be punished and hated by my son, to my great relief he has forgiven me much quicker than he normally would (boy, can he hold a grudge!) and has now began to talk to me as normal and has even popped in on his way home from work to pick some things up and has acted quite normal towards me as if nothing has happened.
I can now report that he seems to be settling in quite well in the new place and doesnt mind being there alone and is paying half the bills with my husband. He seems to be thriving on the fact that he finally got out of the family home where he was stuck in a rut, we are very rurual where we live and it just got so easy to stay home for him and drink, but at the new place he is going out meeting up with people and seems to be quite relieved that someone took some kind of action, as if it has freed him up in some way.
I too am thriving in the sense I have a bit of peace and quiet and feel safe and secure in the knowledge that my future will never again be as mad/chaotic/crazy as it was, and my husband seems lighter in some way too or relieved it all went so well.
Now, I know its not over yet, because the next step is for my husband and I to work out a way foward, see if we can reconcile, and move on, then the plan is that he moves back in here with me, leaving my son in the apartment, and of course that my husband never drinks again, so a lot of work to be done yet.
But I just want to report that the last five years of madness is now coming to an end, and I want to thank those on here who have helped me understand so much in such a short time and how being on here saved my sanity and though I dont go to a program/meetings etc, nor, does my husband, I still feel that I have been part of something so valuable and priceless, people taking time out to help, not judging, but sharing, and encouraging, I just want you all to know someone is glad you are on here and could not have done this without you all!
Today I feel hope and strenght, and a way forward, a clear direction, I feel excited now I have gotten rid of the "cancer" and wonder what my 'new life" will bring, I will stay on here, do my steps, grow, and try to help others, but always will have at the back of my mind the wonderful people on here who took a few moments, to clear my mind, and empathise.
I now feel whatever comes up I will cope/deal with it, because I am not alone anymore, tonight I asked my son if he would like to go for a meal with me and his dad and girlfriend he said "ye, sure" I will use this meal to be the beginings of new memories and family time, we have been to hell and back in the last five years, but I am confident now that we can re-set our compass and start out again and try to find a way to settle down to our "new lives" in that he doesnt live at home anymore, and I have now set him free to his own will, and his own decision to drink, I now accept I cant cure him/control him/didnt cause it, so now its about setting out into the future, the unknown but finding a way to start again.
To any newbies reading this, this site WORKS, you have now found your saviour, your sanity, the port in the storm!
No doubt further updates will follow, some good, some bad, but for today, I am at peace!
failte
-- Edited by failte on Friday 10th of December 2010 06:04:03 PM
-- Edited by tlcate on Friday 10th of December 2010 09:04:30 PM
What a powerful and inspiring message.!!!! You are correct , the compassion, empathy and non judgemental resppnses that are found here at MIP is the source of much recovery and solace for myself. The reinforcement of the al anon tools and on line meetings helps me to grow and thrive One Day at a Time
When I read your post I was reminded of a my favorite quoted from the C2C Page 124
'If a man happens to find himself he has a mansion he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life" James Michener
Al Anon enabled me to begin this journey of self discoery and to begin to uncover the "Mansion" in which I will dwell Right now it is hardly a mansion but is is a small house
((Failte)) I'm so happy you were able to find peace. I agree with hotrod, what an inspiring message of yours! I was actually getting all happy teary and tingly just reading it. Thank you for sharing! :)
I hope you and your son and your husband are all able to move forward in a healthy way in your 'new journey'... I know you will be able to!
I agree, these boards are nothing short of a life and sanity saver. The encouragement, strength and hope I have found on here could never even come close to being duplicated elsewhere. No combination of family support, friends' support, psychologists and therapists could ever replace the peace I'm slowly finding by being a member of this courageous, strong, inspiring community.
failte, I am so glad to hear this good news! Of course it's not over, but it sounds like things are moving forward to a good place. Thanks for the inspiration.
