The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am having a TERRIBLE day, and ALL of it is because I crossed my own boundaries. I said yes, when I meant no...waaaay too many times, and the rtesults are PREDICTABLE and I'm tired and overwhelmed.
Sigh...live and learn. I hope today is over with VERY SOON...
The great thing about this program is you can start over ever day. Every hour for that matter. Your boundary can be put back in place. A boundary can be a fence that is easily crossed over or it can be a brick wall that no one can cross or penetrate. Boundaries are for you, to protect you, and you have control over what type of boundary you put in force.
Taking care of yourself first should always come first.
Put it behind you Rainbo and chalk it up to another experience. We have all done this. One great thing is that the very next moment we can change it. We can decide to do it differently.
oh sweetie! It is ok, even when we do make a mistake or have a slip, one in which we do not take care of ourselves, u can see it is not a good place to be in, not what you want to do ~ slow down, say I will think about it and get back to you (in a day or a few minutes) and then stick to the time frame you create. It is ok to say, let me check my schedule and see and think a few moinutes if this will be what you want/need to and/or not.
For me at this stage in program, it was a road map of sorts - bc I could see where my choice allowed me to feel worse and not better. When u begin to make choices based on how it will leave you feeling in the end (self preservation and self protection) then it makes it easier to decline nicely.
I read for years and having formerly been in the beauty industry for 20 years... if I do have "bad news" or disapppointing news to share, I make sure I am fed and well rested and then I put on a nice make up (on my face) it is said that bad news is taken better from a beautiful face. lol
In leiu of f2f contact, if it is over the phone and u feel pushed/pressured to jump and do what is asked, even if u really really want to do this thing - take time, say I will get back to you shortly (and think about it or check ur schedule or make sure u really want to and it wont disrupt the plans you already have in place for the day/time).
Slips allow us to re-evaluate what we want in our programs, this is a very postive learning experience here ~ another glorious opportunity for growth.
Dont allow anything, even you dear one, to "ruin" your day or any possibility, turn it over, surrender it and do the best you can now and for the next time. Also, know ups and downs are a part of life too, it ebbs and flows. Accept ur part in it and change what you can. Let go (surrender) your control, wants, expectations of perfection and make those mistakes so u can keep growing & evolving. It is about choices, it isnt personal. Be kind to you and give you permission to not only take ur time to decide, to have more choices - and give you permission to make mistakes and be human. Remember there is no perfect destination in life anyway, being honest and true to us and standing up for us in love and resepct - is the way to be in the process of coping. Everything passes, this too will pass - do what will allow you to feeel better. Those that genuinely like you, will like you anyway and they will respect your boundaries. Respect is contagious.
I know I would always jump to the involvement bc I was the "hero, rescuer and martyr" and it is complusive of us when we do that. It is so much better feeling, to not resent them for me helping out, I had mountains of resentment - literally. Take ur time and give you permission to. and know next time, u can feel better when you prioritize you and not rushing to fix it - whatver it is!
p.s. I am sorry it is a difficult day for you right now and so glad to see you sharing here, it helps! KCB and working it, bc ur worth it!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I'm sorry you are having a hard day. And like someone else said, there is always a new day to start fresh. Or even a new afternoon. And yes, practice makes perfect. Well as perfect as perfect can be. Hang in there!
((rain)) i think "the results were predictable" is a great reminder for you, in doing things u dont want to do :) sometimes we need reminders :) hey ...how are the sesroh lol
rainbo--hugs! I know the feeling well, but remember, we are getting sicker, quicker now and we are realizing what is happening quicker and coming back to recovery quicker. Take care of you :)
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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
Just a slip, put it behind you and use it as a lesson for the next time. We learn not only from our successes but also by our mistakes so for you lesson learned Blessings