The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After being together 8 years my A boyfriend quit drinking October 31st. The decision was all his and surprised me. He actually told me he doesn't want to drink anymore. In the 8 yrs. of out relationship he has always told me he will never quit and that he didn't want to. He has been going to therepy and has started medicine for depression and mild ADHD. I have seen positive changes and I am very excited for him to see the world through different eyes. I know this is not set in stone, I am proud of him. Hopefully he will become a healthy functioning person I will be there for him and I will keep taking care of me. Holly
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You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
Hello Holly ,well your boy friend has found his miracle hopfully you are looking for yours , if your not already please find Al-Anon meetings for yourself you too need to recover from the effects of his drinking . good luck Louise
Hopefully this will mean a new start in the right direction. When my A quit he was working his program and I was working mine. I started to get more involved in his program as my sponsor told me we should be working our programs together. In my situation that did not work. I ended up working an AA program. Now I work my own and things are getting better for me regardless of what he does. Sobriety especially early can be as challenging as active alcoholism for me, and Al-anon is what aids me where nothing else could.
The decision was all his and that surprised me...It was sooo profound for me when my alcoholic wife sought her own sobriety and even more profounder the way that she went about it. How she did became my metaphor for trust, hope and humility then and still is. When an alcoholic goes for help they are doing what they alone are responsible for in the first place. I know about the surprise because it came when I felt it never would or could and that means I was out of the fixing business. She's getting sober ... what do it do? The first thing I did on my spouses first attempt was to tell her I didn't think she was alcoholic and so...she went back out for 4 - 5 years. Man I was clueless 1000%! I was as dumb as a stick. In that 4 - 5 year period of time I got into Al-Anon for the second time and met my HP waiting at the door for me. Al-Anon introduced me to my HP and I found out now what I was supposed to do for me that was my own responsibility...get serene and sane.
When they quit you better have something to do about yourself or all kinds of crap can reoccur really fast and more crazy than before. This is a fatal disease which also includes insanity...From my experiences in recovery I have seen and heard others experiences in alcoholism and drug addiction that belies my own imagination and not all of it coming from the alcoholic/addict.
When they quit you focus more keenly on yourself...Abbyal's suggestion is the one most repeated from "Noners" "get to a meeting, find a chair, sit down and listen, learn, practice, practice, practice...read as much of the literature as you can get your hands on, work the steps, traditions, slogans and get a sponsor. After you do that easy stuff give it all away to a newbie wanting to know what to do "when they quit".
