The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
We had a lovely Thanksgiving. My AH arrived home late Wednesday evening. I had determined earlier in the week to enjoy the holiday, regardless of his attitude or behavior. I had a Plan B and a Plan C in mind, if he had been surly and difficult. I resolved to detach from his drinking and his abusive behavior.
Some time on Friday afternoon I realized he hadn't had a drink. As far as I know, he didn't drink all weekend. And while I was happy for *him* that he made that choice, it was a HUGE victory for me that his drinking/lack of drinking had no impact on my ability to enjoy the weekend. It was his business, and I stayed on my side of the street. There was a short time on Friday night when he tried to pick a fight with me. At first, I started getting very emotional about it. But I took a time out for myself, pulled myself together, had a talk with my HP, and I let it go. I refused to engage, and the storm passed quickly.
I am very glad we decided to not travel for the holiday. It was very nice to just enjoy our family and our own home, without the added stress of traveling with 3 kids, including an infant.
I stayed close to my HP all weekend, and used my Al Anon tools to focus on myself and my own behavior and reactions.
I cannot begin to say what a miracle Al Anon is, and how much peace and serenity this group has introduced into my life. I am so very proud of myself for how much I've learned, and how much more enjoyable my life is. I know I will always be an imperfect work in progress, but I embrace that in myself.