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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Hello - My Story
Post Info TOPIC: Hello - My Story
Speck


Veteran Member

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Posts: 31
Date:
Hello - My Story
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Hi Everyone

I'm new on here so I'll tell you my story.......................

Strangely I thought this situation was rare, how wrong can you be. I kept it secret for some time, not knowing how to discuss it with friends, it's so vile you just don't know where to start. Then the cracks appear and you have to let it out.

I am the partner of a child abuse victim and have been looking after her off and on for 15 years now. The abuse by her parents is now subject to a criminal investigation (now completed) by Northants Police and we are waiting to see if the CPS will decide on taking it to Court.

During the above time I have been exposed to my partner self harming, drinking heavily, several suicide attempts, depression etc. I have supported her emotionally, financially and taken a lot of time off work to see her through the bad times. It is well known within her family that they were

members of a cult loosely described as a Church.

 

Around ten years ago her family became aware that she had told me about the abuse and from this point on I have been subjected to slander, hate mail, blackmail, hate texts. There have also been attempts to set me up with false information about my partners morals and behaviour so I stop

supporting and leave her. Her family have also subjected us to harassment by reporting her missing to the Police and at harm from me. On one occasion I was kept to one side whilst the Police questioned my partner about me, I was told her best friend had phoned the Police this time but we suspect it was again her family. I have reported all the above to the Police and have incident numbers. I have kept most of the above for evidence and can get statements from people to confirm the facebook slander her mother saying I was on drugs etc.


I am paying for my partners private counselling, and have paid on previous occasions over the years.

 

Over the 15 years my health has physical and mental health has deteriorated and I went to the Doctors and was told I was close to a nervous breakdown, my business has suffered and I have been on sleeping pills for around ten years, originally bought off the internet but now prescribed by my GP. I cant sleep without them and re live this nightmare when lying awake at nights. I have also borrowed money to survive whilst dealing with the situation.

 

Last year I wrote off a vehicle in an accident, during this period I was receiving a lot of hate texts. I have also had the Police call me when I was a work to come and collect my partner from various locations as she had been found drunk or in a state. She has also written off a vehicle after a bad counselling session, I was called by the Police to arrange recovery of the vehicle and later by the Hospital to get my partner after treatment.

I am now receiving councilling and paying for private acupuncture treatment. I have no social life and my relationship with my family has suffered as I tend to shut myself away due to my nervous state. My councillor has indicated that I am suffering from PSTD.

 

I am ex Army and consider myself to be very strong but I have been close to the edge for several years now.

 

Factually speaking my partner is no longer a partner, we sleep in separate rooms, there is no physical contact and my GP describes me as her carer. We have the same GP. I see myself as her carer and have done for some time. I have likened my situation to that of a leading man in an extreme horror film, I cant get out of my role and the horror never stops.

Apart from the above life is great!!  Onwards and upwards as they say!Best regards to you guys



__________________

She only drinks to make me more interesting
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
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Welcome to MIP Speck

I do appreciate your sharing your story and would just like to suggest that you are not alone.  There is hope and help.

Al Anon believes that alcoholism is a disease that we did not cause, cannot control and cannot cure.  Living with this disease causes us to become ill and need a recovery program .  Breaking the isolation, sharing your situation is very important  In addition to meetings that can be located by going to

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

al anon offers tools to learn how live more constructively while  focusing our energy and thoughts on ourselves,and leaving the alcoholic to live as they choose.

Coming here, sharing ,reading others thoughts also help

You are not alone please keep coming back.  



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Speck


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 31
Date:
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Hi Betty

Thank you very much for your kind words.

Will locate and attend my nearest meeting, I live in Fulham so must be meetings in London.

I am heavily involved in Charity work for my old Regiment and another Forces Charity near Buckingham Palace. I'm also a Welfare Officer for Coldstream Guards Association.

Helped many seriously injured young soldiers and cope easily, when you go home to 'it' it's a different 'ball game' altogether. 

Take care

S

__________________

She only drinks to make me more interesting
tlcate


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 449
Date:
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Hello Speck,

Welcome to the MIP Family!  We are glad you found us.  As Hotrod suggested, finding a face to face Al-Anon meeting in your area will help you.  It sounds as though you have been through a lot at the hands of alcoholism - and Al-Anon will help you work through this and find yourself and some serenity again.

We are here for you any time of day.  Please keep coming back and sharing your journey with us, we look forward to getting to know you.


Tricia

__________________
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
Speck


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 31
Date:
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Thank you Tricia

I will try and get on here as often as possible and contribute, I have two business's that I am trying hard not to loose in this recession. Apart from dealing with my partners problems I work 'silly hours' - by choice of course, not complaining. I also employ my youngest son, not easy but think I'm doing an okay job.

Take care everybody

Simon

__________________

She only drinks to make me more interesting
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