The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I saw a little bird on my back patio this morning and these thoughts came to mind.
That wonderful "in love" feeling that makes humans feel like they are walking on clouds can only truely be achieved by the relationship I have with my higher power and the knowledge that he values me personally ( that feeling of being special because someone cares for me deeply) can be developed by the respect I know my Higher Power feels for me and I show to my self. No one can ever take that away from me removing the fear of rejection and abandonment that rules my every move.
Respect and love for myself and my acceptance that I don't have the power to "change" or don't need to "help" others to be of value.
And as I thought of this it also dawned on me that truely having this mind set or rather heart set, makes me much more attractive TO MYSELF, making my heart a warm and wonderful place because I will value myself and therefore if humans do seem to reject or abandon me, it will simply be something that occured and not an overwelming panic attack or extreme depression.
This love for higher power and myself will also keep me from feeling like I MUST "help" other humans overcome, or fix, their problems to be valuable.
I want what may seem simple to some. To be able to have peace in my soul, without "worries" swimming in my head.
To wake up and begin my day with clarity and peace and a positive view of myself and the world around me. It almost seems as if the definition of peace for me at the moment is the ability to let go... trust my higher power that everything is as he intends it to be at this moment and that is ok, and to live in the moment, not in the past or future.
Once someone told me: What you think about most each day is your "God" that day.
My obession over "why" is like making myself my god because I am mentally determined to "firgure things out" as if I can make it all better..while my brain is constantly "figuring things out" I am missing the little bird on the back patio.
Thank you higher power for sending that little bird today!
Thank you very much for letting me share.
-- Edited by glad on Friday 26th of November 2010 11:15:48 AM
-- Edited by glad on Friday 26th of November 2010 11:16:17 AM
-- Edited by glad on Friday 26th of November 2010 11:27:07 AM
Well said....still struggling with this concept a little.....I still tend to judge myself on my possessions or accomplishments. Although my opinion of myself has improved. I know I'm a good person, caring, honest, moral etc....I actually know that.....it's the focus that gets off sometimes.
