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Hello, I am new to this message board. I joined quite a while ago and chatted with some extremely helpful and supportive members but I let myself get swept up in my husband's lies. Whether they were intentional lies or not, I believed him when he said he could get better on his own. I'd tell you what happened, but I have a feeling I'm in company that knows exactly how that worked out. I called Al-Anon today and got some meeting times. I'm very stressed about the meetings. First, I am afraid of the confrontation when I tell him I'm going. Second, I'm not sure what to do with my 7 month old son. The meetings are at 7pm and his bed time is usually 7:30 or 8. I may have to leave him with my husband but I'm worried how that will go. I don't think he'd drink but I know he'd go outside for a cigarette. Ugh. Anyway, I wanted to say hello and introduce myself. Thanks for reading!!
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**Constantly trying to drag a horse to water who doesn't want to drink only results in an angry horse and blistered hands.**
welcome! hey even if we have heard things before, if you need to vent it, please feel welcome to!
Myself I would NEVER leave even my dog with an A. Just is me.
That young would your sweet one go to sleep in the car in its seat then be brought in in a front pack asleep or one of those carry bed things?
I always front packed my babies till about 18 mo. They fell right to sleep and slept thru anything.
Some meeting places have child care.
I don't know your situation so not sure how to answer about confrontation. Myself, I would have a boundary that it is not something that is negotiable. I know how some A's like to sabotage so you might not want to let him know you are going until the last moment.
Maybe go to the first one with baby, then ask them about child care?
Hello and welcome , yes he will probably be upset as you are now not helping him keep the secret . If you explain that his drinking is causing you a problem * no accusations just a fact * he may accept it more readily. I am sure you have been told that you are the one that has the problem not him , so in a perfect world he will love that you are admitting that you have a problem and are doing something about it . If you think about it they usually find something to be upset about anyway sooooooo, there is no reason to worry about the meetings , you will find acceptance there ,people who understand exactly how you feel there are no musts in our program if you dont feel like talking just pass no problem , if you can pick up a detachment pamphlet at the meeting and keep it close do what it says to the best of your ability and your life will get easier . good luck Louise
Aloha RB...welcome again and good for you making the change. Change is always difficult and at time scary however those of us who have been newbies and are still here to support you will encourage you to go. It doesn't take long to smoke a cigarette so it doesn't sound like you trust the alcoholic very much still I gather that he had something to do with the child being here at all and needs to be responsible with you. The meetings usually last an hour and if you count time before it starts and some time to spend after doing a bit of networking and the like you're talking about 2 hours on the outside and then the run home. I hope you get there and I hope your experience is as much a life saving as it was for me. I went from scared to sane and serene. Good luck (((((hugs)))))
One of the meetings I went to, a lady brought her two children with her and they quietly read and colored nearby. I can't imagine they would turn you away with a baby in arms. I for one, never went anywhere without my babies when they were babies because they were nursing so I had to be the one that had them :) Don't let that stop you from going :)
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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
If you think about it they usually find something to be upset about anyway sooooooo, there is no reason to worry about the meetings , you will find acceptance there ,people who understand exactly how you feel there are no musts in our program if you dont feel like talking just pass no problem , if you can pick up a detachment pamphlet at the meeting and keep it close do what it says to the best of your ability and your life will get easier . good luck Louise
