The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all; with the holidays coming, I'm looking for some ESH on affirmations and serenity statements you say to yourselves when things get tough. I find myself generally looking foward to the weekend, and I feel good about how I have been detaching and refusing to enter into meaningless conflict.
I'm trying to fill my Al Anon toolbox, so to speak, before my AH arrives home tomorrow or Friday, so I can have a Plan B of how to handle any difficult conflicts if they arise.
What mantras/tools/phrases do you turn to in stressful times to keep yourself centered and on program?
The program has truly saved my sanity and serenity over the years. I do believe that the easiest tools to use in a stressful situation are
Having a Plan B or C Meaning if somrthing goes wrong I can switch to a different plan Serenity Prayer repeated slowly and meaningfully . Truly asking for Serenity, Courage and Wisdom.
Remembering to Detach: Donot Even Think About Changing Him/Her
Live a moment at a time and know that this too shall pass.
Deep Breaths, visiting this Board, taking a walk
Knowing that these tools can be used in any situation even when dealing with others. Remember that you now have new tools that work and will enable you to enjoy the Holiday
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 23rd of November 2010 10:44:53 AM
QTIP = quit taking it personally. When family members all in the same house for the holidays are in a bad mood or tense, I sometimes find myself wondering if it's because of me, and then start mentally obsessing about what I did or didn't do. Whoa!! It's not about me! QUIP!
Serenity prayer, for sure. "Accept the things I cannot change" has new meaning for me.
Pick up the phone - a short call to a sponsor or friend in the program can put you right ... and ya never know, maybe it's putting them right at the same time as well! :)
Nowadays I line up fun stuff for the daughter and I...wife is welcome to join if she wishes (I prefer when she doesn't sad to say) but I have a plan to get me out of the house and doing something fun, at least fun for my daughter......I enjoy just being with her.
For me hon, when he got icky, I immediatly went into,"It is the other guy, the disease. So whatever it is it just does not matter.? I might answer, oh really or hmm you might be right. NO sense in arguing or allowing a stupid disease to upset me.
I always reminded myself it is a disease, NOTHING to get upset at, does no good anyway.
Always have a book going, have something to leave the room to do. I used to go up and hug him too. That always freaked him out. lol KEEP IT LIGHT. That pit the disease wants to drag us into is dark. It does not always have to be serious.
QTIP=quit taking it personally... for me that means that I need to detach from the disease and not hate him for these purposes.... Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes= for me I have to change the way I do things, inorder for other things to change around me (including him) mainly my response...and such. This too shall pass= works when things look the grimmest Serenity prayer coming on MIP reading Language of letting go, Getting them sober, courage to change. Dance in the kitchen to music, laughter is the best medicine.... take care of you!
__________________
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
