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just an update on 3rd al anon face to face meeting i lusaka, zambia, africa. attendance was back up to 4 with one new person which was great.its not so scary taking the meetings as it was 2 meetings ago so thats also nice.its going great and i am truly grateful.
had a bit of a dilemma 2 days before though and would love some advice.was talking to one of my customers at work. she shared some things about problems with her children who have drinking problems and i shared a little about myself. invited her to the meeting.just after that she went into one of the other managers offices and shared what i had told her about myself. i was surprised and it made me wonder how to handle the issue of anonymity if she comes to a meeting. i am thinking that i should just read the part about anonymity as usual and leave things to HP. She didn't come to this meeting.Any suggestions of how to handle this.it feels kind of tricky.
I"m sorry to hear this but I've been in the same boat.....Here is what helped:
Last week I questioned this thing about ANONIMITY with more expirienced members and how we should handle it.
In the F2F meeting I explained how 5 years ago I was very excited to have found Al-Anon in my life. I was so excited that as anonymous I thought I was being, I really wasn't. Naturally, I wanted to help everyone and anyone that was struggling with alcholism/addiction in their lives and would invite them with me whether they did or not.
But...........how wrong I was to blow MY ANONIMITY of being in Al-Anon. I MYSELF need to remain anonymous.
So, one of the members with 30 years in the program told me that the anonymous way to do things, is when nobody is looking, post up a flyer ANYWHERE you might think someone might see and need it.
If they really are DESPERATE for help, they WILL see the Flyer, and will search for the meeting themselves. Hope that helps, for it really helped me to see things in perspective.
((Hugs))
PS. Maybe you should stress the importance of Anonimity to her now that the word might be out.
-- Edited by RoseODAT on Friday 19th of November 2010 11:07:20 AM
thanks for that.so you recognise that overwhelming entusiasm!!!Don;t have any CAL on anonymity.Can anyone share some with me?Or are we not supposed to chare CAL like that?Glad I can ask old timers for advice.
will keep on posting the flyers whereever possible.
Aloha Meg - and thank you for your service in opening a meeting where one was needed!
You may want to get in touch with the WSO (World Service Office) as a starting point to find out where you can get literature and pamphlets that would include stuff on anonymity. There is a pamphlet (P-33) that focuses on anonymity. Not sure how you'd go about ordering them - also not sure if you'd need them in another language.
The WSO actually doesn't cover countries outside of the United States and Canada, but as I understand it, there are other WSO-like branches established or that are getting established in other countries, and I believe Africa has one. But I don't know what they're called, so that's why I mention getting in touch with the WSO as your starting point because I'm sure they can point you in the right direction: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org
Regarding anonymity. It is only stated in the traditions that personal anonymity be maintained at the level of press, radio, TV and film. It really is up to the individual if they wish to break their anonymity with personal relationships... that includes co-workers, family members, friends, etc.
I've broken my anonymity about being in Al-Anon with plenty of people when I felt it safe to do so.
It's more prudent, however, to respect the anonymity of OTHER Al-Anon members. For instance, it wouldn't be cool to be walking through town with an Al-Anon friend and run into another friend who's NOT in Al-Anon and introduce your Al-Anon friend to the other friend by saying "Oh, we know each other through Al-Anon!" You'd be breaking that member's anonymity then. So... what your co-worker did was not with respect to your anonymity. But she likely doesn't really understand how anonymity works.
The Al-Anon / Alateen Service Manual also has a lot of stuff worth reading on anonymity. Again, not sure how it works in countries outside the US and Canada, but here every group that registers itself with the WSO receives a free Al-Anon / Alateen Service Manual. It's really a vital reference when it comes down to important decisions within the groups. You may want to ask if you can get ahold of one of those, too.
Aloha Meg...Aloha's share was most useful for me and the part of contacting WSO "World Service" hits the door bell for the main office. They will come to your service fast. If you get on the WSO site go to the publications link and see what is there that you can copy on line...I don't know off hand what you can or can not but go thru it and see. My spouse and I do Public Information here on one side of our island so we have the pamphlets and the publications and can work with you a bit (just a) to help you get a jump start. PM me your email and we can network a solution or so. (((hugs)))
I would have a meeting on the importance of anonymity to our program , in our literature you will find some pages on the topic , and as you are a new meeting you may not have the table cards yet , in our area we speak briefly about the cards before we start the meeting that way its always fresh in our mind . Al-Anon spoken here the Who you see here ,what you hear here and the card on Let it begin with me are the ones we read .. goodluck Louise I have afriend who says I dont care who you tell you went to the meeting on Monday nite , just dont tell them u saw me there . that about sums it up
-- Edited by abbyal on Friday 19th of November 2010 09:26:35 PM
thanks for input.sent you pm jerry.am in touch with gso south africa who handle al anon into africa so am working on getting some literature through them.hoping to visit south africa in december and pick some stuff up.will ask them to send me some stuff on anonymity and will talk about it at a future meeting.thanks for all the encouragement.
Hi Meg, I'm going to be in Lusaka on Wednesday, July 20. Are the Al Anon meetings still going? I would love to attend, if possible -- but where and when? Thanks for your work in organizing!
How are you? Great to hear you will be visitng Lusaka. Hope you got the info by prrivate message. Al Anon Lusaka meeting is Wednesdays at 17.30 to 18.30 ( 5.30 pm to 6.30 pm).Venue is SHARPZ at 220c, Mutandwa Road, Roma, Lusaka. Check your private messages for more info.You would be most welcome.Take care, Meg
