The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After yesterday's debarcle I can report that further communications with my daughter led to my succeeding in getting a turn around and a half apology...I say half because she may have said the words but it needs to be actioned too and I have to wait and see for that.
However, I realise I am being too harsh with myself. PROGRESS not PERFECTION.
I won that one by managing to recognise from my writing here that I was NOT the victim any more and I was enforcing boundaries and refusing to take on blame that was not mine to own.
Reading the responses and the pm's I got too, I realised so much more.
I HAVE COME SUCH A LONG WAY FROM ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE ABUSED, but it does not stop me feeling sad and sick when I see the dearest people in my heart making NO EFFORT toward a healthy recovery.
Their decision not mine. My business here is to work and continue to work toward my fuller recovery and that I am pleased with and happy and content.
Yesterday was a blip in Serenity. Today my Serenity is back in tact. That would not have happened a year ago. It would have taken me months to get up let alone start walking forward again.
Here I am not only UP, but RUNNING forward again toward my healthy destination.
F A B U L O U S !
I can do it. I am doing it. I am WORKING THAT PROGRAMME.
Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Oh sis, I didn't know daughter treated you like that!
We have shared a lot, I am proud of you for standing up for you and progressing so far in your recovery!
I wanted to tell you my son is being a turkey still. It is not abusive at all. But the estrangement is enough. You know what I mean.
It is hard to think our kids would treat us badly.I don't get it really as my parents were not perfect, but actually I had a good childhood, but I NEVER would say to them anything that would have hurt their heart.
You know my serenity is not based on anyone else. For me it is my foundation. I have a foundation of serenity. If something hurts a lot, or something bad happens, I at least have my inner serenity of faith and hope.
I know you have that. We all get broadsided. We are made of a lot of scar tissue you know? Not quite as strong as untouched, not abused people.
We are stronger maybe in lotsa other ways though. We gain wisdom. Which is sure what I see you gaining.
Yes, be gentle on ourselves....why pile on? Life will throw it's own curveballs at us (sometimes they seem like beanballs) but we can treat ourselves better than that. I think of how I treat my daughter and remind myself, "do I deserve to be treated any less caringly?"
