The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I get to go out and play. Aloha Ohana (family) and just had to post this before finishing up the day here on the Big Island. I was thinking about all the fun I got to have in the past several years of the Al-Anon program. Why I feel sooo much freer, happy and confident. It's because when you practice, practice, practice these principles in all our affairs the program becomes a natural part of life and really not "work" so much and then the fear goes down and the confidence goes up and with my HP I can go play cause I've finished my homework. No I was never, with the exception of Al-Anon, a good student. Some of the reasons were the emotional dysfunctions which were part and parcel of Jerry F's makeup. ADD, PTSD, ODD (ODD in many many ways but what that actually stands for is oppositional defiant disorder...it's not that I couldn't learn it's that I wouldn't learn) but then comes the "bottom" for me. If I didn't learn, do my Al-Anon homework, chances were very good I would not continue to live at all on any level. I came into the program with my brain still in it's original box which had never been open. I found Al-Anon by pure luck on my part and my HP's will on HP's part.
It feels sooo good to play. Oldtimers can expand on that statement. Free at last, Free at last - Thank GOD I'm free at last!! Mahalo for all your support and love. ((((((hugs))))))
I can identify with the "Free at Last" statement and am so glad that you started this post.
Before al anon, and implementing the simple tools of this program, I knew only anger resentment self pity and fear. deep in my being. Nothing I tried relieved me of these deep routed painful attitudes.
I started al anon and, like you began to practice, practice, practice and one day the deep anger,resentment etc were replaced with serenity and peace
By working the steps, meetings, sharing, and using these principles in ALL my Affairs , I had replaced my automatic negative reactions with the new positive actions of this program.
I must note that this does not mean I am a saint I must continue to use these tools and principles daily in all my affairs. It is so great that they are now my automatic responses and i am very grateful for the change
There is a Chinese proverb in the Courage to Change that states : "It is natural for the birds of fear and worry to fly overhead just do not let them build a nest in your hair. It takes daily use of al anon tools to accomplish that
Thanks for your wonderful ESH
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 17th of November 2010 09:26:28 AM
I suffered (odd) too Jerry F, odd one out was me, why couldn't the whole world and it's dog, do it my way? I spent a good ermmmmmmm 40 + years trying to force my own issues, and now? pheweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I knew nothing x
I grew up full of confidence, was reasonably as successful as my efforts warranted, had a glorious upbringing, wonderful & supportive parents, etc....
Somehow, I married an alcoholic - and I had NO idea how to handle it - any of it - other than I somehow knew I had to "fix" it/her.....
Alas, the growth for me, in this wonderful program, was the humbling experience that:
i) Tom really did NOT know all ii) Tom could not fix others iii) Tom was actually quite sick himself, and needed "recovery"
It has definitely been quite a ride - not sure I would "wish it on my worst enemy", but the flipside is that there is no doubt that Al-Anon has made me a better person than I once was - more empathetic, more compassion, and far less judgement....
The similarities are also there, Jerry, as - like you - once I have learned to embed much of our program in my daily life, it doesn't seem like "work" at all...
Thanks for sharing
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I must continue to use these tools and principles daily in all my affairs. It is so great that they are now my automatic responses and i am very grateful for the change
