Welcome to our board, keep on sharing!

I know that before program, I would be so full expectations and so concerned that everyone was having fun too, that I rarely ever did.  Mom loved to task me and we would end up having fun cooking, singing, setting up, nibbling for days - that was fun and never quite like I thought - things never turned out the way I thought they would. 

Anyway u know the saying - to make god laugh tell he/she/it your plans. 
   So I think about that and release most of my expectations - even of something as simple as - having fun -bc- if I am focused on any sort of outcome - then I am taken away from enjoying myself in the actual passing moments.  Most of what I never had fun was bc I was not in the actual moment - I was lost in my head and daydreams/fantasies, wants and expectations.
   The more and more I can get away from my own ego, the less I find I am hurt by daily occurances.  I hate being in the forest, when I cant see the trees, so objectivity works well from me and it allows me to release whatver pain I am grasping to.  I also work to forgive me and others as often as possible - this has freed and liberated me more than any other single thing - if love conquers all, then forgiveness is definitely the most powerful spiritual weapon/tool available.  It allows me to let go of what others have said to me and about me and it allows me to feel and expereince me inside with holding the hand of my HP - I know HP does not want me to suffer.  I work hard to view me as a divine pure innocent light, the way in which HP does (I imagine).

I take meaning out of all kinds of things, symbols, signs, numerology - they all have meaning for me.  I like to use the holidays as a way to get to deeper spiritual understanding/s.

I found that this magic question works:  What can I do right now/today to allow me to feel better about myself (via self respect, honoring, loving and valuing the self) and/or my situation/s.  Whatver the answer is, I do that one first next right/heatlhy thing for me.  Funny thing is - it is always different, sometimes it is most basic like I want heatlhy clean food or I want ice cream, or to take a walk or ready a book or spend some extra time lovingly on my personal care (that is something I neglected myself a lot with, not gettting pretty looking and feeling not so great, too) so some days, putting on make up, or talking to other alanons - helps to give me some new ideas if I am ever light on suggestions for myself.

We cannot make others happy - happiness and peace are an inside job.  I can however work to detach with love from their mood and focus on how I can be happier, more relaxed and joyful.  Focusing on any little thing you can be grateful for or about - that works wonders!  So does willingly surrendering your expectations or your negative/bad feelings (self pity, guilt, frustration, fear/anger) if I do go there, bc it happens.  Luckily doing what works and going back to it - works again and we get back on track for the new and healthier us. 

Concentrating on rescuing me, has been a god send and I am forever grateful to this fellowship.