The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Living with fear and anxiety is one of the by products of living with the disease of alcoholism The entire family becomes ill.
You did not mention alcoholism in your post but I do believe that alanon and the tools we learn here can help you overcome your confusion and enable you o discover who you are and how to be the best parent and hjusband you can be
Face to face meetings are held in every community Help in finding meetings can be done at:
I too was a severly abused child, at the hands of my mother and then served up to other family members for abuse so I relate to your post. I am not sure if alcohol or drugs were involved in your childhood but at the very least you grew up in a dysfunction, so you are in the right place. I too am very wary of women ( and I am a woman ), As i certainly wasn't able to count on my mother for safety or comfort I tend to see women as my adversaries. Although now ( in my old age ) I am able to maintain friendships with women. While other kids in high school were planning "what they wanted to be" and picking out colleges my only goal was to be a good wife and mother. I was going to do everything different than had been done to me. And I met a great guy got married ( 27yrs now ) we had 2 beautiful children and I am living proof that an abused child does not become an abuser. We never raised a hand to our kids and bent over backwards ( probably too much) to give them the perfect childhood. But at some point I had to reconcile what had happened to me as a child. And that was not a pretty sight. I had spent so much time pushing all that to the back of my mind that after a series of events that showed me just how vulnerable I was, I reverted right back to that helpless child I had tried so hard to forget. Anyway had a total breakdown really...I found my way here to the doors of alanon and the good people here not only understood me they supported me in all my endeavors. After much work in the program I was able to pull myself together. Look at my past and be able to label all my abusers and those who stood by and let it happen as very sick people. People who never found recovery so were unable to change thier behaviors. Sick people do sick things and Hurt people hurt other people. All I can do is keep my side of the street clean and carry on. I did not have to become those people and I didn't. To me that is a victory You are young so the quicker you deal with these issues the better off for you and your family. See if you can get yourself to some meetings or join us here online for our twice daily meetings, you will find them invaluble and if you start working the steps and the program you will become much healthier for you and your family. Blessings