The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This morning, I was rambling through my bookcase looking for a particular book and came across a picture my daughter drew in her late elementary years. It is an awesome detailed pencil sketch of my exha standing behind me with his arms around mine. His head is tenderly bent forward caressing mine. My right arm bent so my hand can rest on his arm. We are standing in the driveway looking contentedly at a baby crawling on the grass of the front yard. Our dear cat is close by. Our favorite japanese maple has birds, and our house behind us is adorned with flowers.
I had forgotten about this drawing. It brought back so many emotions. How I would have longed for that to truly be us. I know my daughter was longing for it too.
He had been active even way back when and had already had addiction as his priority.
I do remember him feeling that way about me before.
My daughter is now 19 and we spoke on the phone last night for 2 hours. She is having difficulty processing things. I pray for her, as it wasn't easy for either of us, but I can't begin to fathom what it is like for her to not feel love from her dad. I do recommend alanon to her, but she is not interested, yet.
Anytime. It sounds like you are moving forward. The best thing. You are a good mom and a good person. She is fortunate to have you. Hopefully she will discover how to move forward as well.
It is rough to watch our children suffer for the choices of bad parents. I know my daughter (18) has never met her bio Dad and my exH - the only Dad she ever knew said upon our divorce "If I can't have you I don't want to be a part of her life." Ouch. She really loved him.
The nice thing for both of us is that they had loving mothers. Some children don't have either parent who cares. I am sorry she is struggling right now. Mine is as well, but for different reasons. I just pulled her from her friends and home to move somewhere we don't know anyone. But . . . one day at a time. We will all get through it. It was an emotional time for us as we packed up all our belongings and riffled through things we hadn't touched or thought about in many years. Our past can be painful at times - but it helps us grow if we face it and work through it.
Big hugs for you and your girl.
tlc
__________________
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
I have a picture my daughter drew when she was 8 years old of her father sitting on the sofa in his underwear with a three day beard drinking a beer. He got mad at me when he saw it. Go figure.
-- Edited by babysteps on Tuesday 9th of November 2010 11:44:33 AM
