The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Those sweet words that are the siren call to the co-dependent.
I really got to experience how well my recovery is working this morning. Those words don't draw me in any more.
I talked on the phone for a little while with my exAH and wanted to see if I could get rid of a couple of outdoor lounge chairs that I didn't need so told him he or his boss could have them if they wanted (I know he's someone always eager to just collect "stuff", and I know his boss has a swimming pool, so maybe she'd want them.)
Well, he later confirmed his boss would like the chairs and said he'd pick them up sometime this weekend. Great. I'm glad to have found the things a home - they're too large for my lanai.
Pretty much thought that was the end of it all until he maybe called sometime this weekend to pick up the chairs. IF he ever does, haha.
When checking my email this morning, I see an email come through from the exAH... it was sent fairly late last night. First off, just wants to know how big the chairs are so he can see if he can fit them in his SUV.
But then he ends it with the whammy.
"I really miss you! Love, exAH"
My first response in my head is "...And you're really drunk."
I texted him a reply to his question about the measurements of the lounge chair but chose not to reciprocate or address to the "miss you" statement.
I'm so glad for the change. Sure I can appreciate maybe he misses me, but it's probably for all the wrong reasons.
Those were the same words he used that got me to move out here to Hawaii with him.
Doesn't work with me any more. Thank goodness for personal growth in recovery in Al-Anon.
-- Edited by Aloha on Sunday 7th of November 2010 12:00:02 AM
Good morning Aloha,Oh my, how I based all of my emotions on the spoken word, how powerful they were until I realised I was the source behind that power, I was only thinking this morning I have everything I need in my life now and most of that I supply by myself, when I read your post I thought this is such a powerful share, "he misses me", that's nice, end of, fantastic progress.
Ugh. I agree, that is the worst. Total suck back in. Not this time.
You guys are awesome. They ARE meaningless words. It CAN'T work anymore. He misses me. I think a big thank you is a perfect response. I hope I am strong enough to leave it at that.
