Brain damage - Al-Anon Family Group

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Brain damage

bud · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Ness))))

I cannot try and place myself in your shoes to have a child with this disease.

My exha has also fried his brain many years ago. I remember the immobilizing fear when I went to pick him up from the police station and he had so much on board that he couldn't focus or know where he was. I thought he might wind up a vegetable at best. I was so grateful he was alive, though he couldn't walk or sit in a car. He thought the safety belt were restraints and he was begging me to take them off. He went into his first rehab program within 48 hours after his arrest.

Today, and another rehab later, he is functioning at work, but still cannot remember large chunks of our 20 year marriage. He does not seem to know who I am or what my personality is like. He does not know our 19 year old daughter. Things became worse when he remarried. His new wife must aid with filling in an earful based on her insecurity, as he spouts off horrible things from the past that have only happened in someone's figment of imagination. It is almost like someone who has a stroke that affects speech and is totally reliant on a caretaker for understanding and communicating.

It is so horrible to watch a loved one deteriorate. We are so powerless.

Prayers to you and your family. I'm glad you are here.

DreamsOver · Senior Member

((((Hugs))))

My AS has memory loss too, the last episode of drug use was so bad he didn't even look like my son, the weight loss, he was losing his hair, etc.

Panic is the only word I can use when I saw him.

I pray your son will get the help he needs and that you take care of yourself.

Love to you always,

Dreams

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Alcohol is a mind and mood altering chemical...it negatively affects every part of the
body it touches. Very often without threatment to arrest it the result is insanity and/or
death. I emphasize with you and him. Being the alcoholic and trying to remember
what your brain will not recall from a memory that isn't there can be maddening.

((((hugs)))) smile

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((Bud))))).....it's been a living nightmare at times having an Ason, and I'm beyond grateful that I took the plunge into al-anon. My son in his early drinking years used to look at the hardened brain damaged alkies and shake his head in disbelief, that wasn't for him.....he could control it. I'm saddened you also have experienced the effects and glad to see you here too.

(((((Dreams))))))......your hugs and empathy are invaluable.....ty

(((((Jerry))))) I could hear the frustration and confusion in his voice.....he has a long road ahead of him. He knew the dangers, oh yes he knew it all.... but he was in control. Cunning, baffling, powerful and deadly.

Ness x

-- Edited by Ness on Sunday 7th of November 2010 09:19:13 AM

Karilynn · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Ness))),

I remember when I had kicked Tim out and he went over to a friend's house. After a week, he landed in the hospital with seizures. Since seizures are like mini strokes, he has no memory of what happened the week he was staying with his friends. He did loose some speech and his thinking was off for a time. Eventually it did come back.

It is a feeling of helplessness when they are drinking. But I also felt helpless when he came home from the hospital. Not the same man that left. I had to reassure him when he was frustrated because he couldn't find the right words. Like you, I was just grateful that he was alive and sober.

Your son is exactly where he should be. Yes, he's different. But does anyone (including us) come out the same person they were when they entered rehab or Alanon? Not really. We get better. We get stronger. You have and so will your son. Saying an extra prayer for his continued hard work. He'll be okay. After all his Mom has set a great example. Much love and blessings to you and your family.

Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

((((Karilynn &PK))))) thank you. Your're right , this disease changes us all. I am stronger in Alanon and I have acceptance and awareness of the disease and it's effects and that recovery comes in many different ways and at different times. One thing with his memory loss he's no recollection (at the moment) that we told him to leave which has always caused me such pain, even though I knew it was right. He has forgotten a lot of the terrible situations he was found in, maybe thats not such a bad thing or maybe they need to remember to learn from it. Anyway........ starting to get myself bogged down here. Thanks for your support.

Ness x

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Ness

I hear you and just wanted to share that my husband reached recovery and told me he could not remember the last 3 years of our marriage.

. I certainly did furious

He worked as a reporter and never missed a day during that time. He was different when he left rehab and finally accepted AA His thought patterns slower and not as funny In time that all came back

When he was diagnosed with throat cancer he went to all the treatments with courage and without complaint That was so different from the former self He refused pain meds as he did not want to be foggy That was a miracle

He passed away at home watching TV Hp took care of him. Please know your son is in good hands.

-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 7th of November 2010 09:48:14 AM

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

(( ness ))

Totally sympathize with your situation. My son also an A. He has memory loss not yet because of brain damage ( and they have scanned his brain ) but becuase of the type of drugs he takes ( hallucinigens) so he never remembers what he has done or how he gets wherever he has landed. of course when we try and fill in the details for him,he will deny it all so we found that to be fruitless.
I am praying for you and son
Blessings

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