The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I got a scolding letter from my brother today. He said that I "served him up to his PO", and therefore he will get the extended time in Jail becuase of what my dad and I told his PO.
He's mad that I didn't lie about his drinking. Let the silent treatment begin.
Totally know where you are coming from. We turned our son into his PO and he is just finishing up a year long stint in jail rehab. Was he mad..oh yeah First call he made home ( collect of course) he started in with the "it was all our fault" thing, I interuppted him a calmly told him i would not be paying for any calls where he was disrepctful and to call back when he was ready to be respectful. And I hung up My first visit to see him he started in with the same thing...again I interuppted him and calmly reminded him that we had stated our boundaries to him very clearly when he was home, that if he continued to get high we would call his PO and he agreed to our terms, he was the one who made the choice that landed him where he was. And I didnt drive all the way to see him so he could be disrespectful to me and that our visit was over and he could let me know when he was ready for a rational discussion. I only had to do each of those things once. But in taking care of myself I would not take respondsibilty for his actions. Please don't get me wrong I adore my son, would die for him but thankfully with this program I got to a place where I was no longer willing or able to watch him slowly kill himself. Hang in there,,,,,do what is right for you....and don't take on anyone elses respondsibilities Blessings
The GREAT thing about all of this? In the past, I would have been worried sick because he was mad at me. I would be feeling very guilty and actually thinking that it was my fault for him being where is today.
NOT TODAY!!!! I hope everyone has a great weekend!
See there are miracles in progress here! You are recovering! Hopefully you can share this with your father.
Be nice if you guys could go to meetings together. Did you get a chance to get that,"Getting Them Sober" book?
It is so easy to read, even when we are feeling awful, it is written in a way that is so full of lightbulb moments. Makes ya feel better.
You and Dad rest now, do your grieving work. At least brother is safe for awhile.
You cannot make him read them, and I don't know if he can get literature in there, but would not hurt to send some.
Also in detaching it is ok to let them know that you love them, and only want the best for him. Believe me, he knows that. That craziness does simmer down at times. Too bad he does not write then!
He is grieving too, plus for maybe the first time he has to do it sober.
Silent treatment what a gift that is no one hollering at you or telling you what a pain in the butt you are .. no complaints about the supper being too hot or too cold or whatever .. ENJOY !!!!!!!!!!!
no one hollering at you or telling you what a pain in the butt you are .. no complaints about the supper being too hot or too cold or whatever .. ENJOY !!!!!!!!!!!