The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Three years ago my husband and I stopped living any kind of normal life. Its as if the pause button was pressed and we waited for normal service to resume. It was a slow decline for us over the years to reach this stage but the disease of alcoholism is patient, cunning, baffling and powerful and slowly over the years it sucked us right into the insanity.
We had to give up our lives (didnt we) because we needed to be available for the next crisis caused by our sons drinking...... Only we had the power to control and fix it (didnt we).... We needed to be available in case the police brought him home, in case the hospital called, in case he didnt come home and we had to go looking for him......in case in case in case.
Living with a racing heart, churning guts and bursting head became the norm.
We stopped inviting friends round, I couldnt raise a smile never mind hold a normal conversation. We made endless excuses as to why we couldnt accept invitations, even from family......
At home we would sit in silence, either end of the sofa, with fear filling the void between us, or we would take turns to snipe at each other......insane insane insane.
Well our 37th wedding anniversary is this month and we are OFF...........we have a motor-home and we are off to Spain and Morocco and not coming back until March. We saved and planned for this trip for our 35th anniversary but our son was deep in his addiction and we were totally enmeshed.
Al-anon has made this trip possible. By applying the principles in all our affairs were putting first things first (our relationship which has been neglected) and will be taking it a day at a time, who knows we may want to kill each other after a week!!
The pause button is released, dont know what normality is but we aim to LIVE.... and let live.
18 months ago I was on my knees and would happily have lain down and died. Recovery is there if we want it, and I wanted it. It doesnt happen overnight and takes hard work but what unfolds is, to me, indeed miraculous.
It works when you work it...Enjoy the blessing, you and your man and take lots of spiritual pictures of the trip to share when you get back. I have no doubt that your HP is going with you and at times will be allowed to drive the motor home.
Wonderful, I am so so happy for you. Take heart and soul and fly and enjoy and love each other, you both deserve that.
Enmeshed in fear and trembling it is so difficult to live a life of fulfilment and joy, however, I truly believe you are living through this now and I see you emerging into the sunshine of life like the miraculous evolution we see when a butterfly emerges from the chrysalis that has had it enmeshed over time. It pushes its way out to emerge the glorious butterfly that it has evolved into.
God Bless your new life and may the healing continue, I prayer for a joyful holiday of refreshment and strengthening. Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I know all about that pause button. You have worked so very hard my lady, and deserve this wonderful trip.
Please try to visit here once in a while and remember HP will be sitting right there , in that Motor Coach just in between Hubby and You. You will be fine.
My circumstances havent changed, but I have.... I will always have an Ason, my daughter is currently in the midst of chaos with her x Ahusb, health scares and bereavement have been with us this year.....testing times but got through it with a lot of acceptance and by throwing myself into the programme. We could keep our finger on the pause button and wait and watch but instead are going with plan A (with a plan B on the side)! What will be will be.
I will be checking in regularly, got myself set up for internet on the road so taking you all with me.... hp will guide us and have earmarked a number of English speaking al-anon groups along the way, along with a big convention in the south of Spain in Dec which I would dearly love to make (anyone going?)
Now.....got to go and shout at my husband to get his disorganised butt into gear......ooops......of course what I mean is...... I will say what I mean, mean what I say, but not say it mean......(hopefully!!)
