The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sometimes I know myself so well. And of course sometimes i'm clueless. The questions I posted and pondered the other night was helpful. I've conclude that I can be happy WHILE I'm striving, searching, hoping and dreaming. That I can still do those things and be happy BEFORE anything comes to fruition. I also realize how I can hold on to the negative with an iron grip. Things with the wife have been actually pleasant lately. I'm starting to learn to at least accept the good days as they come, one at a time instead of thinking of the future and what may happen then. Funny too, how all the different posts whether KITA's, empathy or something else all strike a chord with me and make me think. Thanks.
I'm so glad you are feeling better about things. Speaking your thoughts, reading them, and hearing others points of view are very helpful. Keep on the good track!
I must add that I also struggle with futurizing. I think it takes some practice, but it sounds like you are making progress.
YAY, but THANKYOU, for sharing your journey with me, It worked for me in similar way's too, I went from thinking I can't be happy I don't feel happy because? and then it started to happen, little glints of happiness, and I recognised the difference, and I began to think and feel I can be happy as well as, and then all the reasons I had created in my own head as to why I didn't deserve happyness, and so I wouldn't be, just seemed to lose it's power over me, and as I consontrated more on the good the things that were so hurtful to me so hard to cope with seemed to fall back and my relationship with my husband improved and continues to do so, something else too, just before I started alanon, I hated everything about my husband, everything bothered me, I used to feel anxous at the thought of him coming home, my heart would pound and I would know we would end up having a bust up, I was like a coiled spring, we started to live separate lives, and it seemed like the divide was too great, and now? I almost feel ashamed to admit I find those things I hated so much about him, endearing, I can smile instead of snearing, I don't stew for days on end replaying stuff over and over in my head, I think we have just started to grow up together, much love to you and your family.
This is wonderful to read and I am so happy for you ((((((( mjhyankees)))))) so I am surrounding you with healing hugs sent from across this great pond we have between us.
Thinking is good, just keep it in your heart and not your head. The Cerebella (or is it Cerebellum) needs a rest from time to time. So often heart thinking is left on the shelf.
By the way, what do you mean by KITA????
I am useless at working through capital letter short-forms though I am good at reading misspellings and wrong grammar and third language english I just cannot get my head around the modern text short-form capital expressions.
Take care and keep on working through the negatives and soon you will find they disappear from your immediate pattern of living and the positives will take their place.
God Bless Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Suzannah wrote: By the way, what do you mean by KITA????
I'm guessing it means Kick In The Behind (except with an A word).
MJH, I've really enjoyed following your journey in Al-Anon, as you have shared on here. You have experienced many of the same struggles that I have (with my own ways of thinking) so a lot of the responses that you get are helpful to me also.
Way to go!!
__________________
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
