The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I could really use so help getting unstuck from my self defeating habit of continually procrastinating.
I have been coming here and reading everyones posts for a few weeks and it seems to help my mood but I seem to really be lacking in the action department.
I seem to still spend alot of time in my head, thinking and planning and wondering about stuff.
I have a nice home that I need to cleanup and decorate. I have great kids that could use help with their schoolwork. I have a wonderful aging mother that I should be enjoying everyday with. I also have the IRS on my back for some back tax info and bills that I have the money to pay but just never seem to write the check.
Why do I continue in these patterns? Why can't I just change my useless habits?
Even with no active alcoholic in my home I still seem to be trying to focus on something else and cause so form of chaosis by neglect.
I just want to get better and function and be productive like others I see and know. I just don't seem to ever make it to that point.
One thing that helps me is to make a to-do list based on the question "What will be most satisfying today?" Then, I make a list with that question in mind. Usually, I strike on something that will be especially gratifying and more satisfying than anything else on the list. Sometimes it's dealing with something that's a pain in the neck, but will be satisfying because it will relieve stress-like clearing up back taxes-other times, it's a gorgeous day out and sunbathing with my mum is just what the doctor ordered. Using this question saves me from all the pressure of what I think I should be doing or what I think others think I should be doing ;). It gives me focus and also because I have a list really helps me make a very clear choice (instead of getting bogged down by the sheer magnitude of all the things I could/should do).
BlueCloud
-- Edited by BlueCloud on Tuesday 2nd of November 2010 06:34:41 PM
Procrastination is definitely one of the many issues that we who have lived with alcoholism must address.
I found the small JUST FOR Today bookmark helped me as nothing else could . It outlined in a daily format what constructive actions I could take in that day that would help me recover from the devastating effects of this disease.
It does not matter if you are now living with the disease the effects are still with us until we elect to recover.
Meetings, focusing on myself, living one day at a time, prayer, steps all helped
If you would like to review that bookmark it can be accessed on line at
I also know this. Good sleep and exercise make me much more ambitious. LIsts help with the idea that if I do one thing each day, it all get's done eventually.
When I was in the mist of this lethargic phase and found it difficult to stop procrastinating I had to analyze my utter lethargy.
The reason behind it all was this plain and simple fact, which I can illustrate in the following way.
A little child sits down at the dinner time, confronted by a HUGE dinner plate piled HIGH. Over-faced by the size of plate and the mountain of food on it, the child cannot take even the smallest spoonful.
So, as a mother, how can one solve the eating dilemma for the child.
Simple...take a smaller plate and put a small portion on it. The child is not overwhelmed and nibbles happily. The next thing one know they are asking for a second helping and before long they are managing to eat a reasonable helping.
Lethargy is often triggered because the brain is overloaded and too much is being given for the brain to deal with. At this stage we are often in the survival mode...and the simplest of tasks such as getting up, washing, cleaning our teeth, getting dressed and making meals is all we can cope with. Then once we can face that we start looking about us and hear ALL THE THINGS screaming at us to be done.
So, like the little child with the mountain of food, we need to present ourselves with small tasks. Even "TO DO LISTS" can be defeating at this stage so instead an "I HAVE COMPLETED LIST" is often the best way forward.
Right from getting up, get a pad and pencil and when you have completed a task, write it down. By the end of the day you will be feeling much better and realise you are DOING more than you think.
I found that after a few days I was then able to FACE a SMALL "TO DO LIST" of five minute tasks...that meant splitting the larger tasks down to bite-size pieces. This is positive reaffirming and gives one a sense of capability that can sometimes be missing if we consider the WHOLE GAMBLE OF THINGS TO DO in one go.
Soon five minute tasks and rewards change and develop into quarter of an hour tasks that are accomplishable and before you know it you are NO LONGER PROCRASTINATING but simply DOING and accomplishing.
May seem an odd way to tackle the problem but it worked for me and I have passed this on to numerous friends and neighbours over the years and it has worked for them too.
Give it a try and don't be hard on yourself. You are in RECOVERY and you have to learn to walk before you can run.
Lots of love, God Bless Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
