The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As a newcomer, I really need to understand what my relationship is to the addicted person in my life, and why it is the way it is.
I tried going to a meeting in NYC, but no matter how much I raised my hand, it was very clubby and I didn't get picked. I was desperate to share.
Yet people would go on and on about their cat or their annoying mother in law, etc. I was trying to escape abuse. I was ignored, and never went back.
I used to go to AA, where newcomers were given special care, and principals of the program were adhered to. Recently even AA meetings seem clubby and superficial and more about a meet market than the principals of the 12 steps. It's as if the whole thing has become a forum for narcissists. Sorry if I sound negative.
It's seems to me that since 9/11 the world has become a bizarre, superficial place, where no one really cares about anything deep anymore, and everything is me, me , me. Maybe I'm just depressed, but the world has not changed for the better, except in some ways, such as racial eqaulity, for example.
I posted earlier about my ex who is an addict, and not know how to handle it. Any feedback would be appreciated.
I am sorry you are having difficulty finding meetings where you can share I live in NYC and find that Step meetings, that use the round Robin format and Beginner meetings work best for me.
Two very good meetings are:
Tuesday Step meeting at 7th street and 2nd ave at 7 PM
Monday Step meeting at the 23 rd st VA hospital . Everyone gets to share here, This hospital is located at 23 street and 1st Ave There is a great Wednesday meeting at 6 there. It is a beginners meeting and everyone gets to share
There are many beginner meetings available just call inter group for information
Please keep trying there are great meetings available and you are worth it
You will find love, compassion and kindness here i assure you of that but you will also not be sugar coated and will be told the truth from those of use who have been there and done that.
The thing here is we do it with love.....look forward to reading more about you...keep coming back......very nice to meet you my friend.
Aloha Jade and welcome to MIP. Yes Al-Anon is 12step, adapted from the same 12 steps of AA. Sorry you were not very satisfied with what you first experienced at an early meeting and we learn to accept that there are times we will not be so we use acceptance on that and lower our expectations of others at the same time. What we have learned how to do is keep coming back over and over until we come to understand where we fit and how and then go on to making changes for ourselves so that we not only learn how to accept others for exactly who they are but also our selves.
I'm happy you are here and with the rest of this family am in support of your desire for change. Keep coming back. (((((hugs)))))
Hiyas Jade, Glad you found us! We adhere to the 12 steps (alanon was started by the wife of the man who started AA...) in every aspect of my life, I have benefitted 10fold by the work I have put into this program.
Looking forward to hearing you share at one of our online meetings?? Im on every morning (barring any disasters which are happily few and far between now)...at 8:30-9:00. there are some amazing folks there to share with. Lots of understanding.
I have found that some meetings were not for me, but some were. This board is where I do most of my work though because my schedule is very tight and I barely have time for anything in between work, kids and driving to and from work (an hour each way). We are here, and we follow the alanon tradtions and steps... Take care of you :)
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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
