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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Learning detachment, I love it!!
Post Info TOPIC: Learning detachment, I love it!!
member922


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Learning detachment, I love it!!
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I am finally learning to live and let live as far as my addict bf.  I didn't think I could stay with him because I didn't agree with his lifestyle.  I thought my only peace would come when he was out of my life.  We do have some good times and I don't have to give that up.

From my reading, I now understand that he is responsible for his own life and for dealing with his own issues.  I can step back and take what I like and leave the rest.

I am responsible for my ownself as well, and there is nobody that I trust more than me.  I know what choices I can make, how I can be happy, how I can take charge and handle myself, face tough times and keep moving ahead.  I am the best one for the job and I'm glad I finally know that.

I am so happy to be learning how to live better that I sometimes want to cry.  And that's ok too lol.  Oh, and I think I will be attending my 2nd meeting tomorrow.  Yay!



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hotrod


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Member

Nice awareness and acceptance.  You are on the way

  Please let us know how the meeting goes and what additional tools you picked up

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Jerry F


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Great member...keep walking it...practice, practice, practice.   (((((hugs))))) smile

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member922


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Thanks.

I have to agree with the practice part, and the on my way. This is going to be some work after my latest experience, ugh. I know I can do this, but it isn't always going to be as easy as it seems.

That's ok. It's all about learning. I just have to look at it that way. I may have to get knocked back for a loop, but now I know I can get back up and try again.

No quitters here.

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sunflowergirl


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In my experience, when I really detached, everything got better.... I realized that detachment meant me allowing my A to be himself. I stopped "hoping" and expecting things from him that would make me resent him if he didn't live up to my hopes and expectations... Good for you, keep on keeping on!

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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  -Buddha

The past has flown away.  The coming month and year do not exsist.  Ours only is the present's tiny point.  -Mahmud Shabistanri
member922


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Thanks sunflower. You are very right. I can see it in the little steps I am making. My A is just a bf, nobody I HAVE to stay with for any reason at all. I am giving this detachment thing a try and I will know I can do it with or without him in my life.

I am learning not to resent so much, but I also know I have choices. My happiness must come first.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Learning detachment, I love it!!