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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Just want to share
Post Info TOPIC: Just want to share
kath


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Just want to share
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I am posting this evening to talk about the way I started to handle a situation, and the way I finally surrendered the situation.

This weekend is a big holiday for my AH. And I thought Halloween was for kids. just kidding, anyway I just wanted to note my progress.

I saw him today and he was just whirling with big plans. I felt slighted, angry, and annoyed. If he would just....., then I would be happy.

I started out being upset, and griping because he is never here for me. I cried as I let go of it.

After I griped at him, I stopped. I can send message after message after message telling him how terrible he is. That is how I have always done it.

I finally just stopped and told him to have a great weekend, and not to worry about trick or treating with our daughter, as I knew how busy he was, and that I accepted him for who he was, and I understood. I also told him I was not honoring him or myself by griping at him for his choices.

After I did that I cried like a baby. This transition is painful. Letting go of him is hard, but I would rather let him go and be ok for me and my girls than spend all weekend angry and moping.

I just saw the scenario plain as day after I saw him: him baiting me and telling me all about his big plans, me being hurt that he doesn't care about our family, him turning all the things I accused him of around on me, me being confused and angry by this. It tells it detail for detail in Getting Them Sober. When I was afraid of letting him go I just remembered that the book says that he needs me more than I need him.

I know I will be ok regardless of what he does.

This disease wants me to be sick too, I REFUSE to be sick too.



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SteppingUp


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That's inspiring Kath. smile

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hotrod


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((Ksth))

Great inspiring share  Yes change is hard and at times painful but it is worth it. 

When I did not change I was in terrible pain and there was no possibility of change.  Here the pain is in growth and it is worth it.

PS I changed avatar to my Halloween costume.  I decided to participate this year.smile  

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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Jerry F


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Good share Kath...with practice I gained momentum and with more momentum
I got running and never looked back.   Yay!!   I've yet to dress up like Hot Rod
and then that's a yet...ummmm   Happy Halloween!  ((((hugs))))smile

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kath


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Betty,

This is a different kind of pain, a growing pain, I agree.

Love your new avatar and love the hat!

Have fun this weekend!!


Jerry,

There's a song I listen to by Toby Mac and he says "got momentum baby!!"  I'm so ready for the day I will never look back. Thanks for sharing.

-- Edited by kath on Saturday 30th of October 2010 09:01:09 AM

-- Edited by kath on Saturday 30th of October 2010 09:03:07 AM

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