When I got here, I heard over and over that, happiness and peace are inside jobs.
     Take some time to consider that thought.

I know when I would hear it, it allowed me to feel extra instantly weak, like I am doomed and caused it all.  Well, that is both true and untrue.  We can only control us.  I think ur not feeling so happy yet -bc- ur still focusing on things that you want to see change.  You are spending ur time, wishing things were different or changed.  Believe me, HP will deliver a blow, as we continue to not learn our lesson.  The situations get bigger and bigger and more complicated and the reactions and ppl involved all seem to get that much worse - or more intense, if u will. 

So, it keeps getting bigger and progressing.  So do our unresolved issues and emotions.  As we continue to put what we need aside and drown out that quiet subtle voice within - the tiny meek and innocent soul that we are - we who agreed to abide by the law of free will - choice for all.  It goes along with what your ego is telling you that you want.

Nothing is stoppping you from being happy right now.  Perhaps, u can begin to ponder that path of what is it about happiness that u are afraid of.  I posed that to my bf not more then three weeks ago and he has completely transformed this weekend -- by taking the "beliefs" of his family and casting them aside.  By doing what he needs (emotionally) to feeel and be happy and have his own self respect.
    When u take your own voice and put it first (where it belongs) then you can make a real choice that is healthy for YOU, not what u think u should do or whatver bc of expectations and roles.

Expectations hurt us everytime, when we say I can only be happy if this or that happens - we are sabatoging real happiness.  We dont need much, we need acknowledgement and we can get that from ourselves but/and not if you keep casting you aside, over riding the inner voice and saying - what I need, isnt important or I dont matter.

That is just not true.  See I know u have a lil girl there that u adore and the way you act, she is observing and taking in like a sponge.  That is what kids are, sponges with wide open eyes and ears and hearts and minds.

So let go of thinking about the future - we cant control that, give it to god or ur HP.  Get into right now, bc now is reality, right now we can do something different.  Surrender what you have learned and give it over to the univers (or hp/god) and allow you to be surprised by what is new or what is possible.

we were poor, u know and my mom still created magic for me when I was a lil kid growing up.  She would take four bobby pins and make a doll and talk to me and it would dance or tell me  a story.  She would take off her sock and make a puppet.  She would get down at my level and talk to me and encourage me to share my feeelings (always, always) and she didnt ever scold me for them, she Always listened and asked me (thank god she did, she couldnt help me in dealing with them but she sure let me get them out - without judgment- it was not easy for her, it was hard for us both but she let me and encourage me always to express myself).  She never lied either, she betrayed me in many other ways but she didnt lie to me, so she never was a hypocrit about anything.

Choose to do soemting that will allow u to feel happy.  Stop worrying - its a waste of the time u could be doing somethng constructive and positive and encouraging.

Be loving and kind to you first and then to others.  Do what allows u to feel self respect and when u do, u will begin to feel better and quickly self esteem will follow like a shadow, like a fabulous side effect. 

Learn to detach with love from other people's issues and feelings and behavior and look around and be grateful for what you have right now.  U have health, food, warmth, u ahve support here.  That is a lot.  When we take anything, absolutely anything for granted, it can quickly disappear.  Live today like it is your last and do what you want to and what will allow you to feel love, peace and joy.  I know u can think of some things to do.  Lots of ideas here.

Let go of what you know and open ur mind to something unknown - that is how miracles work and u cant tempt or demand things of HP. 

Right now u can be grateful u may have some extra money.  Every penny helps.  Change ur attitude and change your life!  Glad ur here ~ take extra special gentle loving care of YOU and do what works.  The program works bc we work it everyday to maintain it.  I forgive me as often as possible, let go of what I know and see the new... miraculous!

A favorite quote of mine is "Happiness is the consequence of personal effort."

As others said, it's an inside job. But, just like most things, it takes time to learn and figure out how to accomplish that, as the formula is unique for each person.

This is not to be misinterpreted as "Happiness is forever once you find it." It comes and goes as do all things in life. Cherish and enjoy it when you're there, and just know better days will eventually come when you're not.