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Well, I don`t know if I mentioned it recently but for the last month my grandaughter has been obcessed about her mother`s drinking since she met up with her current boyfriend who sounds like a severe alcoholic. This kid is acting out in school at home and with me. I finally got it out of her what was bothering her and she is worried to death about mama`s drinking. Afraid its going to get worse and worse, cuz mama is a follower she says. She says she can`t control it like she thinks. Last nite I got a call from her at 9:00, she was hiding in her closet telling me mama just went out for a couple of drinks with the boyfriend. I asked her who was babysitting. Papa she said. Not someone I think is appropripiate but, its not my choice. I tried to tell her not to worry and to go to sleep. I got up this morning with messages through out the nite, 2:00am, 3:00am,4:00, 5:00am all telling me how drunk mama is and how mama is naked with a man and where she hides the beer. This little girl is 7 years old! How in the world is she functioning in school. I called the school counselor to talk with her and they said she was in school today. This poor kid. I don`t know how to watch this... I can`t... Any suggestions appreciated.
I think calling the school and reporting to DCF (social services) would be my first step. I know alanon isn't about advice giving, but someone needs to know what is going on.... ? And take care of you, in my experience, when I keep my mind on me, things get better....
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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
I hope you kept those recordings I know I have said this before that your GD is such a bright little girl and sees clearly what is happening around her. But she is full of fear and with good reason. I am sorry but I will say again that Child Welfare needs to be brought into the picture. Someone has to make that hard call. In my family it was me. And yes I got the backlash, but the backlash was worth my nieces safety. Your GD is in danger not only from her mother ( who on previous posts you have mentioned drives recklessly etc) but from this boyfriend. You don't know this guy and lord only knows what he could be capable of doing. I honestly don't know of any other suggestion for you as I have stood in your shoes. I collected evidence, I got the school involved and then I called Child Protective services. It's a huge decision but until someone speaks for this child it is only going to get worse for her. And why wouldn't she act out? I would She is begging for help in the only way she knows how. I guess the question is who is going to help her. I know how tough this is for you, your GD is blessed to have you in her life. Pray I mean really Pray on how to help your GD and listen or watch to what HP tells you to do. Blessings to you and GD
Aloha Samsgram...I don't see where you are attending Al-Anon for yourself. In the rooms there are many who have very similar experiences and therefore resources and suggestions. Watching and worrying about the situation was a part of my enabling it to get worse for me and when it got worse for me there was no solutions possible. Take your situation into the meeting rooms and literature and steps, traditions, slogans and prayer and see how it changes for you. I can only suggest what has worked for me. (((((hugs)))))
I agree with all the above posts...there are things you can do like contacting the school counseler....and possibly making a CPS call yourself. Then also taking care of yourself. Your life is being affected by alcohol as is the girl's.
I`am going to as many f2f meetings as I can. I`am still not able to attend on-line here for some reason. My server won`t connect. Anyway, I have shared my concerns and worries but I could not get to a meeting today (another commitment) and I was so upset when I heard my voicemail this morning. To think she was up all night long is very disturbing. I have contacted her councelor at school but I don`t think they will contact social services about this. Social services and I have a bad history. I had custody of this little girl 2-3 yrs. ago. My d was using hard drugs then. My d convinced them I was just medling and that she was a great mother, filled her house with food, cleaned it top to bottom. They called me and told me to butt out, she`s a great mother, so what if she uses "crack"! Thank God, the judge order her unfit and I ended up with temp custody for almost a year. She is just switching addictions. Its one thing to take care of me but to stand by and watch her destroy this little girl is so damn hard.
This is not a good situation at all and is going on far too long for your grand daughter's safety. I am sending prayers your way and it is not easy. I have not got the highest opinion of officialdom but perhaps if you can document everything it might help.
I've heard that social services need to get calls from 2 or 3 unrelated parties before they make it a priority to investigate. And once they have decided you, the family member, are just meddling, it is hard to get them to listen. I would talk to the counselor at the school again, and I would *definitely* talk to the teacher... she would be the one noticing the problems the little girl might be having on a day to day basis, or signs she's being neglected. She could be the one who lets the counselor know that something is seriously wrong, and that could help get the ball rolling with social services.
