The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Each day I wake and think, "Today I will prepare for the day ahead", and I mentally draw up a plan.
Each day I get that far and no further.
Each day I bemoan my lack of self discipline and realise that NO ONE is going to do it for me, this is something I have to do myself.
So what is different about today? Well, today I decided to address this issue full on and work out why I get no further and allow the distractions to take me off course so easily.
ORDERED DISCIPLINE to do what comes NATURALLY. That is the simple answer, no ordered discipline to do the natural things that sustain life itself. Why?
Because I am drifting through life now with no goal ahead and no one here to share it with so what does it matter when I wash, when I eat and drink, when I pray, when I dress, when I begin my List of things to do? Do I need to go out there anyway? Why do anything...UGH! Why not simply slouch about and hide behind these walls...surely tomorrow will be different.
I wonder, are there any of you out there who recognise these LAME EXCUSES and the pattern of depression that takes away the will to live life and DO ANYTHING?
The disease of being in communion or affected by an alcoholic in ones life often leads to depression and that leads to this lame excuse of a life that I have just described because in that one little paragraph I have denuded myself of self worth, purpose and self-love. So, what am I going to do now...drift further like a boat with no rudder, or am I going to grab hold of those oars and hoist that sail and check my compass and map and find solid ground and a safe harbour?
YOU BET I AM.
And what are these metaphorical oars, sail, compass and map? They are self worth, purpose and self-love all wrapped up in detachment.
No matter what has happened to me, no matter how others treat me, I have a right to VALUE each day that I awake to, and if I give myself that worth I find my purpose and I can detach from what is underlying these lack-a-day approaches to the new day ahead and find a purpose to my life to lead me into a love of life and self.
So, let me share an awakening with you this morning.
A new day has dawned and I am alive, and in that fact alone I own it and give thanks for that by simply saying THE SERENITY PRAYER (how did I get OUT of doing that?).
REFLECTION: I open the curtains and peek outside and I gaze upon my garden...I notice there has been a frost last night and there is a whiteness that speaks of crispness and cool. (I need to dress warm if I am to go out there today).
Furthermore, I marvel at the trees bearing the berries on which the birds are now feeding. They break my day by harmoniously singing in the new day,(mirroring my act of saying that Serenity Prayer), and fluttering about peeking here and there seeking food (reminds me to break my fast!). Now one has fluttered down and is preening feathers (gosh I need to preen my feathers too and get washed and dressed). Then just as suddenly it takes to flight and is away doing what birds do...soaring high (time for me to soar high and get out into that world too).
THERE IS MY PLAN. Nature has just shown me in full how my day should start and why...because there is a natural order to living.
In those few moments of observation I had DETACHED from all that was not of natural order by observing nature at its best in a simple act of singing, feeding, preening and then flying high. I had recognised the simplicity of my preparation ahead of me and the reason WHY I had to prepare as well for my day in the natural order of things.
This little bird had sung in the day, gone down to feed, preened its feathers and then, in what I realised was in perfect order prepared itself for flight.
So here was my natural PLAN of PREPARATION for the day. Give THANKS, EAT, WASH and DRESS and MAKE ready for the day.
This little bird had shown me in four small steps that in his daily routine he had prepared himself for his day. He had greeted the day, foraged for his first food of the day, preened his feathers before taking to the sky in search of more food. He has to eat many times his body weight in food a day to gather the strength to fly and feed himself so that he would be strong enough to get through the winter ahead. He was on his own now, his family reared this passing spring, and his daily existence relied upon his ability to take each new day and work through his plan for the day. One single bird...doing what comes naturally to sustain a natural and simple existence that is so short compared to mine but needs ordered natural discipline.
Perhaps my observations this morning will help those of you who find it hard to focus and do what is natural, that is look after yourself in order that you can do your work, whatever that might be for the day.
No-one can take that away from you. You are valued in the natural order of things just as readily as that single bird.
I am off to do what is natural having found both my self worth and my purpose and having been shown how I can achieve it on my own.
1 Give thanks for the new day.
2 Feed my body to give myself the strength I need.
3 Wash and dress in preparation for going out into the world to do whatever is necessary for me to do today.
4 Go out and MEET the world full on and take one more step along the road to a more fulfilled life of purpose and worth and joy. and health.
So I encourage you too to look at your preparations and how you get ready for the day ahead when the depression seems to ground you and encourage you to do nothing at all.
With love,
Suzannah
-- Edited by Suzannah on Monday 25th of October 2010 08:41:44 AM
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Thank you for posting this. I really needed to read this and be reminded of my purpose, value, and self worth and that no one can take this away from me unless I allow it. Again thanks so much. This is great.
Great message. It reminded me of the alanon "Just for Today Bookmark which I have carried with me for so many years. When I found that small piece of literature and PUT it INTO Practice. my whole life began to change and the world became a wonderful welcoming place.
It is obvious from your share and from using that Bookmarkthat it is all dependent on our attitudes. Alanon promises that "Changed attitudes do Aid recovery. I believe that using all the suggestions in that "Bookmark" and meetings were what change my attitudes to a positive constructive outlook on life.
The most meaningful part of the bookmark, for me states that:
" JUST FOR TODAY I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime"
Thesefew words enabled me to face many hard lessons and keep showing up . Using al anon, just living ODAT, my life did change and I too am able to smile and enjoy the beautiful free gifts that were always there but I could not see.
Because I am drifting through life now with no goal ahead and no one here to share it with so what does it matter when I wash, when I eat and drink, when I pray, when I dress, when I begin my List of things to do? Do I need to go out there anyway? Why do anything...UGH! Why not simply slouch about and hide behind these walls...surely tomorrow will be different. 
