my ah is 1yr sober and my thoughts still race - Al-Anon Family Group

rylzmama · Newbie

my ah is 1yr sober and my thoughts still race

lyndebi · ~*Service Worker*~

From what you shared, it sounds like you are not sure of you, not the A.

We all need to build ourselves up, do for us. Work on challenges, accomplishing goals.

We can build our self esteem up to where we feel they are fortunate to have us and why would they want to leave us? I remember feeling and telling him, only be here if you want to be. I did not want him here if he didn't.

It is all in our own self worth. You deserve to enjoy him being in recovery. Working on us is what makes it all ok.

btw are you guys "dating?" Marriage is living thing and needs food too. Relationships need togetherness, doing stuff together. Even walks, going out for ice cream, watching the sun go down are romantic.

Take turns surprising each other. I liked that one...

love,debilyn

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Back Ashlee

I am glad your husband has found his sobriety and it is not uncommon for us to believe that once our partners are on the way to recovery we no longer need al anon. I too left the program after my husband entered AA.

The anger, resentments the lack of trust and fear that I felt did not go away It grew. Living with this disease does truly infect everyone involved.

I hastened back to my al anon meetings and have stayed in program since.

Helps in finding meetings is on this site

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html'

Al Anon tools, gratitude lists, living one day at a time, prayer, sharing, focusing on myself practicing the steps all have worked to lift the negative effects of this disease and replaced them with courage, serenity and wisdom

Please keep sharing he journey.

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello Rylzmama,

My husband has been sober now for four years, and I was only thinking to myself about that dreadful anxiety feeling that I used to wake up with on many a day, I still had that feeling for sometime after his sobriety and I too left alanon for a time because I thought I didn't need it, as my husband began to change I tried to remain the same, and then I started to use the trust issue as an excuse for myself to stay stuck, sadly I gave him grief on his past behaviours for some time even though, he was not doing anything to make me feel this way, it was just my own fears and projections playing havock with my emotions, I realized after quite sometime, I was sabataging the good days, it's taken me quite some time to feel safe in the knowledge, we are different people now and I try to practice living in the moment, I do this by being thankful for all the good things in my life, I love polishing, I love polishing my leather jackets, my bikes, I love animals I love kissing their soft noses, I love trying to do something different to get a different result, I love that I can smile and not utter a word if I am asked a question and don't know the answer, embrace our sobriety, we are very lucky to have it in our home.

Katy

x

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Sis...Sounds like a perfect time to go to the white pages of your local telephone
book and look up the hotline number for the Al-Anon Family Groups and find out when
and where we are meeting next in your area. There is a chair waiting for you and peace
of mind and serenity as you choose to take that chair, sit down, listen, learn, follow the
suggestions and take life one day at a time.

Alcoholism as well as alcoholwas'm and fears hang on us as if we're wearing velcro
and it has all the hooks. Glad you came home...keep coming back (((((hugs))))) smile

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.