First Meeting Tonight - What to Expect? - Al-Anon Family Group

member922 · Senior Member

First Meeting Tonight - What to Expect?

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello member and good luck with your first meeting tonight, for me my first meeting was the very first time in my own personal struggle with dealing with my husbands alcholism that I felt I had found people and a place that I could go safely where I wasn't judged, and I found people who understood me and I understood them too, we all have one thing in common we have been suffering the effects of someone elses drinking, try to keep an open mind, take what you like and leave the rest, much love.

Katy

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usedtobeanyer · Senior Member

I just started going too...I've been to 3 meetings. It is definitely awkward...but I have found it to be so beneficial. So don't give up on it. The odd thing I find about the meetings I've gone to is that you feel both welcomed and unwelcomed at the same time. I can't explain it. But some of these people are (understandably) angry and they aren't going to rush up to you to welcome you. But others will really make an effort to reach out to you and it is really touching. Just listen listen listen...not everything you hear will be valuable but you will probably hear something that will have the potential to change your life.

Good luck.

member922 · Senior Member

Thanks you guys.

I appreciate your responses. I will really try and keep an open mind.

Just wondering, is there some kind of moderator or some kind of leader or how does that work? Do people just randomly start talking? Is there some sort of usual routine that all of the meetings follow?

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

What will you find ? people who accept you just the way you are , people will listen without interuption , people who genuinley care that you showed up oh yeah and the hugs .. take kleenex crying is allowed . Keep an open mind , listen to the similarities not the differences and you will hear what you need to hear .. * hugs* Louise
Usually there is a chair person and a topic selected , every one shares as they are called on , no cross talk no interuptions , if you choose not to share its perfectly okay to pass until your comfortable.. we are self supporting thru our own contributions so if you can a dollar for the basket is requested not required .If possible purchase our first daily reader the ODAT - one day at a time ,its great for newcommers it's aprox 11$ again goodluck

-- Edited by abbyal on Monday 18th of October 2010 11:43:22 AM

kimmy1975 · Veteran Member

Glad to hear that you are going to your first meeting. I went to my first meeting last week, and I will be happy to share my experience with you, and also to give you a warning too. When I got there, I walked into this room that was full of chairs in a circle, and there were a LOT of people there. Unfortunately, only one person introduced themselves to me right before the meeting started. I just so happened to be sitting next to the person chairing the meeting, and the first thing I hear is "Hi my name is _______, and I am an alcoholic." I was a bit confused. Then he said that he wanted to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves and give their sobriety date, and he started with me. I said "Ummm...my name is Kim, and umm.....I don't think I am in the right place. I was looking for the alanon meeting." So my warning to you is, make sure that you are in the right meeting BEFORE the meeting starts. LOL! A really nice man took me where the alanon meeting is held in the same building.

When I walked into the right room, I was greeting by a room full of very nice women. They went around the room and introduced themselves to me, and welcomed me there with open arms. The lady that was chairing the meeting asked another lady if she would mind talking to me after the meeting was over. I don't know if you have attended the online meetings here in the chat room, but the face to face meetings are just like the online meetings, with the exception that they will also do some reading out of some alanon literature. You will have the opportunity to share if you want, but if you just want to sit and listen, that is ok too. One thing that I found, for me anyways, is that I wish the meeting was longer than an hour. After the meeting was over, I met with the lady that was asked to speak with me after the meeting, and she asked me what brought me to alanon, and I told her briefly what brought me there. She assured me that I have come to the right place for support, and told me that she hoped that I will continue coming back. She also told me that there are books that I can purchase, that will help me in my journey of recovery. I was also given a newcomer's packet with a bunch of pamphlets to read. After the nice lady was done talking to me, she asked if she could hug me, which was so nice, because at that time, I really needed a hug. When I left my house to go to the meeting, I was very upset with my AH, because he ridiculed me for wanting to go to a meeting before I left. After she hugged me, a few more ladies came over to me and told me they were glad I came, and hoped that I would continue coming back, and they also asked if they could hug me. I knew after that night, I had made the right decision to go, and I knew I found the right group.

My second meeting, which was two days later, was great too. Everyone was so happy to see me come back, and told me they were happy to see me. I am just so amazed how caring a bunch of strangers can be.

I really hope that you find that the group you are going to is a good fit just like mine is. If at first you don't feel that the group is right for you, it is suggested that you attend six meetings as close together as you can before deciding that the group isn't right for you. I am so glad that I was able to tell right off the bat that the group I attended was a great fit. What's even better is that the location is about a mile from my house.

Please come back and share your experience at your first meeting. I am looking forward to hearing how it went for you.

Take care,

Kimmy

Aloha · ~*Service Worker*~

It's going to be great, member922. :)

Just know you're in a safe place with people who have all been through the same thing as you on varying degrees.

The first meeting I attended was actually called a "Beginners Meeting". So I really felt like I walked into the right place. I remember a woman whom I'd sat next to turning to look at me during her share and telling me "Boy, I'm so GLAD you're here!"

I was really grateful for that acknowledgment from her... and about three or four months later, I asked her to be my sponsor and she's turned out to be such a wonderful sponsor for me.

Just take it easy on yourself. Don't go in there with tons of expectations - just be open to what you'll experience. That's the best advice I'd give anyone attending their first face-to-face meeting.

If possible, try getting to at least six other meetings in the next week or two. You'll find that there are groups that you feel more comfortable with than others. The dynamics between all the meetings can be very different.

Glad you're going! :)

member922 · Senior Member

Thanks for all of the support! I think once I go the first time that I won't be so nervous to walk into a room full of strangers. That is difficult for me no matter what kind of gathering it is.

I try not to have any expectations regarding anything anymore haha.

I did order the Courage to Change book and it should be here soon.

And I'm sure I will need the kleenex! Ugh, this is so hard... But I'm glad I am going too. It certainly can't hurt.

I can't wait to give you all the update. Thanks for being here.

member922 · Senior Member

The meeting was really good for me. I did receive a very warm welcome. Of course I was very emotional at first and then just focused on what the women were saying. I really didn't know that such a group existed where people were describing the same things that I was feeling.

It was a wonderful experience. Due to scheduling difficulties, I'm not sure when I can go again, but I know that will go back.

Thanks again everyone for the encouragement. It was a good place to be.

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