Lonely & dying inside a little more every day - Al-Anon Family Group

Tetongirl · Newbie

Lonely & dying inside a little more every day

Rocky38 · Senior Member

Tetongirl,

Welcome to MIP. Many of us can relate to your story. We have watched over and over the same destructive patterns. Theirs and ours.

How do you get the courage? You're in the right place to:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

I had to add a few words to really get it:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (that's him), the courage to change the things I can (that's me), and the wisdom to know the difference."

I know from my own experience, when I felt as alone as I've ever felt in my life, that with the power and fellowship of this program, as well as by developing yourself spiritually, you will never feel alone again.

I hope you take the time to learn more about alanon, maybe go to some meetings. You will find courage there.

Hugs, Rocky

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Teton,

You get the courage to say enough is enough, when you have had enough.

It took me 26 years to say I had enough. From my experience I dont regret it. Been apart for two years and feeling a lot better.

As long as the alcoholic continues to drink, it only gets progressively worse.

Please try Alanon and if you can attend a face to face meeting, this would be really helpful.

Meantime, keep coming back and we will share with you our experience and wisdom, for we have and still walk in your shoes.

Luv, Bettina

DreamXL · Senior Member

Hi welcome and thank you for your post. :) How do you get the courage to say enough is enough? I found we are simiiar to the alcholics in this way. Once we reach our bottom, then and only then do we look for change. Glad you here and please keep coming back.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Teton

I too said "enough" nbecause I was dying inside and that was when I found the doors of Al Anon. Please find face to face meetings in your community by going to:http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

It was in the rooms of alanon that I "found myself" and learned how to live. Alcoholism is a disease that we cannot cure, cannot control and did not cause. Living with this disease we become infected and lost.

Al Anon tools will point the way to a new life of dignity and serenity

Please keep coming back here to share the journey.

xeno59 · ~*Service Worker*~

Teton

Hello and welcome!
In answer to your question when do you just say "enough"...well right here is your answer.
I strongly suggest to find alanon meetings in your area and start attending or join us here online for our twice daily meetings and start working the program.
Alanon suggests that unless you are in physical danger that you don't make any major life decisions until you have worked the program for at least 6 months.
If you really work the program during that time ( and this program is for YOU, not about getting your husband sober) as you learn more about how this disease works, you learn new behaviors and coping tools to help you deal with this disease and to start getting yourself back. Then you will be able to make a rational decision on where you want your life to go.
I think most of us here would agree that we too got so emesshed in our alcoholic/addicts behavior and lifestyle that we too lost ourselves in them. We lost our own idenity.
My son is an addict, lived at home...man, talk about losing yourself in someone else...I was so desperate to save my child i totally lost my own sense of self, individualism and idenity. His life was my life and by the time I found alanon I was just as sick if not sicker than my son. I was so completly lost, i begged for help from a god that i had left behind years ago...2 days later i was lead to alanon. Now once again I thought it was my answer as to how to save my child but found out the program was for ME and how to regain my own sanity, take care of myself and learn how to deal with this disease. When i found that out I almost left, thinking still at that point " I am not the sick one" why must I do this if it's not going to fix my son...that is what I wanted
So an old timer gave me a challenge he said " This program is free, doesn't cost you a dime. Work it for 6 months and if you still feel the same and want to leave we will galdly refund your misery"
I took him up on his challenge and am grateful everyday that I did..I started working the program and never looked back. It's a simple program for complicated people.
What we all have in common is we have been affected by someone elses drinking or addiction.
I can't divorce my son and wouldnt want to even if I could...so our stories are different but the effects it has on us are the same.
Okay sorry I've probably bored you to death
Please find your own recovery and get your life back
Blessings

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Please find Al-Anon meetings for yourself ,you will find the courage u need to take care of yourself ,with or without him you too have to recover from the effects of someone elses drinking . leaving the relationship dosent solve the problem we take it with us in our heads . givethis prog a try for a few months before making a life altering decission .. get your life back on track .
If you cant leave for any reason Bloom Where Your Planted .. find out who u were truly meant to be and the beauty of this is you dont have to do it alone .once settled in Al-Anon your never alone again , unless of course you choose to be. Louise

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree with the suggestions given by others here because that was what was suggested
to me and what worked.   The very very best place to scream "ENOUGH!!" is
at the door to your first Al-Anon meeting.   Everyone there will understand what
you mean.    Keep coming back here (((((hugs))))) smile

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.