Can't sleep father is drunk - Al-Anon Family Group

Shawnn_ · Newbie

Can't sleep father is drunk

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

Shawn, you are in the right place. Many of us here have had alcoholic parents, and all of us have someone we love who is an alcoholic and who has made life unmanageable. Miracles happen here as we learn how to deal with these terrible situations.

Read through all the threads that come up on this board. There are also online meetings if you can't get to one in your town (but do try -- go to several as they can be very different -- there is nothing like in-person support).

It is terrible that your parents are having problems with each other, and I know it's stressful to watch. But you can't heal them, and you shouldn't have to try. They are both adults and it's their responsibility. When we try to make things better for others, we take away their autonomy and keep them from learning how to manage their lives for themselves. What is most important is taking care of you. This involves learning all about the disease of alcoholism, and learning to detach and stay healthy in the face of it. It feels impossible, but many people on these boards and all over the world have learned to have good lives even in these situations. Please stick around and learn and contribute. It's so important to take care of yourself.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Shawnn
I too would like to welcome you to Al Anon and MIP You are not alone and there is HOPE and HELP for you.

You are dealing with alcoholism . It is a cunning, baffling powerful disease that you did not cause, cannot control and cannot cure.

You and mom have been adversely effected by living with the disease and need help and support in order to learn good coping tools. Al Anon is a fellowship of such people who share their common problems in order to find help.

We have face to face meeetings in every community http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html Will help locate a meeting.

Please attend. There is help and come back here and let us know how you are doing

-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 16th of October 2010 09:43:14 AM

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello and welcome - please find Al-Anon meetings for yourself and perhaps take mom with you ,this is a disease and you too have to recover from the effects of someone elses drinking . there is nothing u can do about dads drinking but alot u can do for yourself . You will find people who understand the dilema u find yourself in and you will discover that your not alone anymore . this is just too hard to deal with alone . please find help for yourself . Louise

Rocky38 · Senior Member

Hi Shawn,

I'm glad you found this board. It's horrible to see someone you love destroying themselves and their relationship with their family. My heart goes out to you, your Mom, and yes, your Dad.

Alcoholism is a soul destroying disease for the alcoholic, and those that love them. First, I wanted to say that it's ok to still love your Dad, even though he seems he'll bent on destroying himself. I have an 18 year old son who watched his Dad destroy his life, and is so confused by his natural love for him, yet hatred of alcoholism. I feel the same way.

You and your Mom need help and support. Me and my son did too. The addiction is so strong, we can't do anything about it, only your Dad and his higher power can. In the mean time you can get help for yourself and your Mom, so that you can both live the best way you know how.

You're in the right place and there is hope.

Hugs, Rocky

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