The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I guess I kind of show myself love, rather then sitting around loving me..lol I'm nice to me and treat myself with respect. I don't do things that I really don't want to do (whenever possible). I avoid other people's drama and negative people because it gives me anxiety. I do things that I like to do. I treat myself to things I love, like books and concerts. I make "me time", like walking on the beach then watching the sunset. In difficult times I do my best to reach for the next best feeling. For me, taking care of me IS loving me.
Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I try to do thing's differently to the way I did things which make me feel less than, I don't look for validation outside of myself any longer, I practice changing my behaviours in all situations and that' with my husband my children my friends and my work place, I don't react quite so much anymore I take time to respond, I speak up and out when I am put in situations which compromise me, always trying to find a solution which allows me to feel content, I have taken a step back and down, surrendered my holier than though attitude's, accepted I had a kind of concete about myself which thought I knew what was best for everyone, I suffer less anxiety now because I am not worrying for the world and it's dog, of course I still care deeply about most things, but I don't own them, the biggest thing for me was I always thought others had it better, were happier more content, I can't judge peoples insides by only seeing the outsides, it was my perception only that caused me to feel this way, my days are very different now, although still very challenging and at times chaotic, but I try and use the difficulties to rise above it, I wondered too, how can I do this, just how? I just try to be honest and true to myself, I don't feel good when I allow myself to passively do stuff, but now I know I know, x
I am learning this. Did you see my post below? Someone said something about learning how to accept myself first. If I can do that, then I can find love for myself. Little things, like I normally make sure the kids have lunches for school, but never make one for myself. Today I made myself a lunch with my sons lunches. I made sure I had food in there that would carry me for the day, instead of sitting at work starving. I guess taking care of yourself is another kind of self love. The airlines always say to take care of yourself first before helping your child. I have to learn to do that... I am sure you will too :) Take care !!
__________________
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
This is a good and very important topic. Sunflowers example of making the kids lunches, but not your own hits home with me, about how I don't love myself as I do those around me. (thank you Sunflower).
I ve heard the example used before, "If you are a lifeguard, and you don't know how to swim, how can save people? You can't. You need to be really good at swimming, above water, underwater, side to side, upside down and backwards, before you can spread that to someone else. Likewise, if you don't know how to love yourself, you won't know how to love someone else."
Thanks for bringing this to our attention...I need to go make a lunch....
I focus and meditate on how much my HP unconditionally loves me and then try to duplicate that and then think about how much I love others and how and then try to give myself that also. There is nothing about you that is unloveable. (((hugs)))
today i decided to do something for me too.... i walked the dogs as normal but today i got my self a ham roll, flask of coffee and a bag of crisps, i headed out with the dogs into the country park and had a picnic in the autumn sunshine just me an the dogs and i forgot about everything for a couple of hours,until i decided to phone my mum to make sure she was okay *roll eyes*
One of the things that worked for me..... Find a book or a website of affirmations (not hard to find). Pick one out each and every day for yourself.... Over time, you'll likely find that some of them truly mean more to you than others, on a given day.... It's baby steps, but it helps re-shape our thinking.... Some of my faves:
I did the best I could, with what I knew at the time....
Today, I am going to be the best ME I can possibly be....
Don't try to eat the elephant all in one bite - the proper way to eat an elephant is slowly, one bite at a time....
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
yeah, I do feel like I'm making some progress with this. I'm learning to not beat myself up as much and writing lists of what I like about myself, what I am good at etc.
I try to take better care of myself. I try to eat good foods, which in turn make me feel good. I try to get a lot of sleep and daily exercise. I try not to be so critical of others and realize that they are living the way they choose to and I am not living their life, so I shouldn't be making any assumptions. I try to be patient. I'm never in a hurry too much.
I choose to buy things that I like to eat, or things that I want once in awhile. I am allowed to. I do not have to always shut up and do whatever everyone else wants to do. I am entitled to make decisions too. I spend time alone and find things to do. I can be happy and content by myself and do whatever I want with my own time. I deserve that too.
I try to avoid negative people and if I can't, I don't let it get me down. I no longer get angry and "drawn in".
I write positive things about myself in a journal. I am not all bad lol.
I guess these kinds of things make me realize that I am strong, maybe not always. But the more I take care of myself, the more I love myself. If nobody out there is perfect for me, at least I know I am.
2 years into the program MJ and still working on that question myself. It's a process that takes time, just like it took time to finally get here. I sure do like myself a lot more these days, I like the person I am becoming. I like learning healthy ways of communicating with others A's or not. But I do still have a hard time loving myself or forgiving myself. I feel that in order to forgive myself I need to be forgiven and that is not yet the case for me. So loving myself? Not just yet but still walking the path that will get me there Blessings
