The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok.
It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child.
I passed on the same slogan to my sister a few weeks ago when she was having an issue with her husband. She can be harsh in her speaking and I suggested the slogan, saying it might go a little easier for both of them if she tried it. She did and it went really well. All these slogans work so well in "regular" life.
That's a great slogan. AND it gives us confidence.... if we know in our hearts we said something as nicely as it could possibly be said, and the person we were speaking to was still mad.... we know it's really their problem, not ours. I have struggled for years with guilt, if I say something another person doesn't want to hear.... I am afraid it makes me a "b----" and as a result I have crippled myself and kept everything inside. I am slowly learning how to speak my mind again.
I have also shared this with my children - it's a wonderful way to practice the program.
This also reminds me of the THINK acronym - is what I want to say Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary and Kind? If it doesn't meet all of those conditions, then I don't need to be saying it! Of course, I have lots of things that definitely don't meet the Kind requirement!
i had never heard that until i joined here yesterday, its a fantastic slogan, i only wish i had heard it before i had a dreadful slanging match with my mum yesterday morning and ended up saying lots of nasty horrible stuff which i didnt really mean and just wanted to scare her into not drinking... how naive i was to think it was that simple *rolls eyes*
