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Post Info TOPIC: Detaching from an A Friend


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 34
Date:
Detaching from an A Friend


Hi have a friend, who lives in the US, I'm in Canada, we met each other as business contacts and struck up a friendship. 

She admitted to me early on in our friendship that she was an alcoholic and then went on to tell me all her woes, with her addict bf and how he kicked her out and now she's basically homeless and living off food stamps (yet somehow finds money to drink) etc. etc.  You all know how A's love to complain about how everything is not their fault (this is not a judgement, just an observation).

She has detoxed herself several times in the last year that I have known her and eventually falls off the wagon.  The longest was 21 days sober for her since I've known her.   She has been going to AA for some time.  I do feel she will die soon if she doesn't get sober.

I am weary and worn out by her conversations, but don't quite know how to detach from her.   I like her as a person but hate her addiction.

How do I remove myself from her without being emotional about it?   I need to set some boundaries, possibly cut off all contact, but she is so hypersensitive and I don't think I could handle more drama from her if she feels I am abandoning her etc.   I am just learning how to detach from my home situation and an AH.

Thanks for listening.




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They are sick and we are crazy.  Crazy no more.  Amen.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3854
Date:

they do love to do the wooooooeeeeeeee is me , the next time she starts simply tell her your sorry she is having a rough time and remind her that she dosent have to live that way .she goes to AA and knows where she can get help when she is ready.  suggest she call a sponsor or go to a meeting you cannot help her .. be respectful but firm .  good luck   Louise

-- Edited by abbyal on Monday 11th of October 2010 01:58:54 AM

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I came- I came to-I came to be



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

DEAR THUNDER

I HEAR YOU AND UNDERSTAND.  IT IS EXHAUSTING TO LISTEN TO  THE "A " VENT ABOUT ISSUES . 

i AGREE THAT THE BEST WE CAN DO IS TO MAINTAIN COMPASSION AND LISTEN FOR A MOMENT AND THEN  SAY I NEED TO GO BUT THAT THERE IS HELP IN AA AND SUGGEST SHE REACH OUT. 

DO THIS EACH TIME SHE CALLS AND THE CALLS WILL CHANGE 

CONTINUE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU

__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 523
Date:

I agree, in my situation, I have said to my A that AA is the best place to find someone to talk to about the problems with alcohol...

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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  -Buddha

The past has flown away.  The coming month and year do not exsist.  Ours only is the present's tiny point.  -Mahmud Shabistanri
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