The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today "Seems" to be going MUCH better then yesterday.. After I posted I was still fighting my own demons of trying to regroup and start over, "Control control control" and I wasn't doing so well, so I played Hookie at work, got in my truck, found me some back roads out of the way of others, and cranked my radio up, put the windows (Part down it was chilly) let the wind blow thru my hair, (To cold for my harley) and started Slam'n gears on my stick shift and slowly began to feel better...
When I start my day I need time to adjust to my surroundings, yesterday they ALL wanted a piece of me, and I was not in a place to give ... I have a Ton of things going on in my life, and trying to balance them all has me pretty much at my witts end... But after this week, my sons sports will slow, my camper should be home, and I can begin to get some kind of Normal "Well To the best of my ability anyway" flowing back in my life...
I am slowly seeing that it is back to the same things that always happen to me this time of year.....No Sunshine, to cold to move around, and I know it will only get worse, due to the time of year, but again, I must put my boot straps on, and find new ways to happiness. New things to enjoy instead of 'conquer'.. That will be key.. At times when I get like this, I get this HUGE desire to take on things that truly I don't want, just do to keep from going stir crazy.... It always back fires and turns into "Overwhelmed" so I am trying to stay "Aware" of that...
I have some Great Friends that Check in on me from time to time, and basically let me "pity pot" it out, but yesterday I didn't know if my "pity Pot" I could even explain... I just knew that I had to Walk away N "DETACH"... I just couldn't release it all with all the "Noise"... too much...
Then tords the end...HP & My Mom InLaw intervened, and it started to lift some... My MIL is a Very Negative Person, I adore the ground she walks on, but if you don't walk in to her home in the right state of mind, it can be a difficult visit... But she calls me a couple times a week, and I can get her to laugh, its just work sometimes, and other times, with her "Negativeness" I will just start "Rolling" laughin and she will then lighten up, but it took a good 10 yrs to "accept" her for WHO She Is... Not Who I want her to Be!!!
So when I was done speaking to her, it was time to head back tords home and get my son in off the bus, so I'm thinking it was the right call... No one got hurt, and today, well the phone is ringing off the wall, and I am sitting here at my desk, Got SOOO Much done already, and as I sit here I 'allow' the Answering machine to answer and I right it down while they leave their message! Gives me a time out, and if it is important they will speak up!! If not, I guess it was the way it is meant to be... Just for Today.....
So again, Jozie is Peddling in the Right Direction, dusting off, and moving on, Crawling back from my pit :) ... Glad Yesterday is behind me, and I will keep praying for the SunShine to Come back into my life REALLY soon
Thanks For Yesterday all.... I am so Grateful for all reply's... It really does mean alot to me, So Thank You
Glad you are feeling better. I'm always amazed what a difference a day makes sometimes. Things that feel catastrophic one day, feel manageable the next.
