The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hubby comes home today drinking of course and wants to know where one of our daughters is. She wasnt feeling well this morning and stayed home she called me later and told me she was going to school because she had a test she couldnt miss. I tell my husband that and he starts going off about why she wanted to stay home in the morning, how I am not a very good parent and dont care about our children. He is saying that she is staying home because she was smoking pot or drinking last night. Funny how she could be doing that when she was home while I am right here with her in the living room untill AH came home drunk and she went to her room. DAM I am angry right now. I told him I was not talking to him about this now but when he sobered up I would. He claims we will nver talk about it and he is right because when he is sober he never speaks!!! He is only a strict father when he drinks when he is sober he leaves all the parenting up to me. Why does the subject never end when you talk to a drunk. I got my keys and was going to leave then I thought no I shouldnt have to leave I work my butt off to pay for this place and everything else so I stay and got on this site. He got mad about that cause I wouldnt talk to him. MY evenings are always disrupted on the weekdays. I thought I was going to be alone for a little while after works. Well I guess tomorrows another day. Thanks for letting me vent.
That certainly is part of the insanity of the disease. Getting on the web and coming here though is different than trying to fix it or him without the tools. Vent on. In support (((((hugs)))))
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this madness. I agree leaving each time does not need to be a solution. Reading a book, posting here or exercise in your home helps as well
Thanks everyone. I feeling better. A year ago we would have proably had this huge agrument and things would have gotten really crazy and scary so I think I am starting to handle all this pretty good although I am getting tired of it all.
I know how you feel.... I resent feeling like I have to leave my own home just to get away from my fiance when he is drunk. I'm being nice enough to let him stay in my home after all. Thanks for the other ideas of things to do when he is acting up.
Funny how alcohol suddenly makes mine, Super Strict Dad too. Any other time he is laid back, but when drunk he's all over my case for not getting the kids to do their homework, etc. (which of course I do) Annoying!!!
I found that when my abf is drunk or has used, if I play it cool and do not engage, things are a lot better for me. And that is all I need to keep on for another day. If I engage and start snooping and finding things, I feel worse and worse. We don't argue, actually he is a silly drunk and is very loving and affectionate, but its me knowing he is drunk that makes me crazy. I am using the tool of this board, reading or just talking about mundane things with him and that helps so much. I now have a sponser, so that helps a lot too!
__________________
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri