The discovery of who and what my Higher Power is has been the most largest and
constant discovery since I came to the rooms of Al-Anon with commitment...doing
my part...and I have sat and listened and trusted and tried and practiced what
others more experienced than I have laid before me.  I have followed the guidance
of some awesome sponsors and am moved deeply as I became aware that they
were instruments of my Higher Power in my Higher Power's attempt to draw me into
His/Her will.  I try to not genderize my Higher Power so as not to limit how my Higher
Power reaches me and then instructs me and then guides me and then directs me.
I have questioned the where of my Higher Power...where did I first call out and when
did HP respond and I found that to be, as I understand now at the age of eleven when
I was so distraught by the disease of alcoholism that I ran to a very quiet place and
begged for attention.  I got HP's attention but didn't know it...I had not met Al-Anon
yet or my sponsors and the fellowship.  So I did a geneology of our relationship and
11 yoa was the year HP heard my call I believe...I had not called as seriously before
that time.  I sat on a huge boulder  (pohaku) overlooking a waterfall and pool with
a bamboo forest at my back.  I was alone and surrounded by God and then I left
and went about my life on my own and my life became a mess.  In early 1979
one early morning in the darkness I stood again looking up into the sky screaming
for any higher power that was out there...space ship would be okay...looking for help
or I would end it all myself and I ended it all myself when after receiving directions
from a power greater than myself that suggested the rooms of Al-Anon.  I was given
suggestions by the fellowship which I followed and came to understand they were
being directed by an HP who was actually mine.  I started direct conversation (listening
and talking) soon after that because I knew I was being touch beyond the physical
alone and on a spiritual level that I didn't understand up until then.  When I started
to find peace of mind and serenity as the program promised I trusted that God
listened to and understood prayer and God's creation and that I was being loved
like I had never understood or accepted before.  No human had ever loved me like
that and so it was God. 

I once was doing a prayer and meditation exercise with one of my sponsors, trying
to listen, learn and practice like he had done and arrive at where he had arrived
at with his relationship with his HP.  He asked me my definition of meditation and
I responded that it was a sustained focus without disturbance on a spiritual truth. He
asked me if I could do that beyond just 10 or 15 minutes and like 24/7 and I didn't
know and it didn't seem likely or usual.  He told me to go find a simple spiritual
truth and I could focus on and fix within my "self" and practice 24/7.  I had a couple
of weeks to search and when that time was over we got together after I told him that
I believe I had found the spiritual focus and he asked me what it was.  My reply was
"God Is."  Once I found it, it has never left my consciousness.  God is...with me now
at this keyboard and all around me at all times in everything and everywhere and I
am with God.  How do I see my Higher Power?...God is ...in everything and everyone
at every time and God is Love, the absence of Fear and that awareness came directly
from God.  God is and I'm no longer afraid and nothing can hurt me any longer and
that is how I have experienced God for years because of the rooms of the Al-Anon
Family Groups and the fellowship which kept me still and introduced me to God.
I was and am a miracle in progress and I return the favor every chance I get.

Good question, great discovery.   (((((hugs)))))