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I am currently 8 months pregnant and the mother of a 3 year old. Recently, I came to grips with the fact that my husband is an alcoholic and now I feel like my world is falling apart. I know that being pregnant means that I'm more emotional but I find myself crying all the time. My husband knows that I think he has a problem but because he drinks less now than he used to he feels like he is making progress. I can't help feeling like a liar because I'm holding all of this distress inside. The bottom line is I no longer like the person he is when he is drinking and I don't know how to protect myself, my daughter or my unborn son. To make matters worse, I am a stay at home mother with no means of supporting myself or my children so I feel totally dependent on him. I feel so weak for not being able to walk away from him, protect my children from this enviornment but I don't know what to do, how to have the courage to do anything and I'm starting to lose hope. Can anyone offer me some advice?
Aloha R...so be grateful you have found MIP and the support it will give you during this trying time. Alcoholism is a fatal disease. It cannot be cured and only arrested by total abstinence. It affects everyone it comes into contact with and so now you are here and you are a pregnant mother. The disease will touch your children born and unborn thru your husband and yourself. It cannot not do that. I was never able to hide the affect it had on me with those around me and so I am hear also.
8+ plus months pregnant doesn't give you alot of wiggle room to take the suggestion of going to face to face Al-Anon meetings but I'll offer the suggestion that you look for the hotline number for Al-Anon in your area from the white pages of your local telephone book and call for the meeting places and times and see if you can get a hold of a live person to talk to. It will be so worth it. If you can get to the rooms of Al-Anon that means you will be able to get to the literature that the program has, much for free and all of it helpful and supportive. That also saved my life when I first got here.
You're here now and you can scroll back thru the earlier post from the membership to get information and help and the names of those who will come forward to support and give you hope.
I believe that Jerry has outlined the most important information that you can use. Please know you are not alone and that there is help. Alcoholism is s disease that you did not cause, cannot control and cannot cure it.
It effects the drinker and all that are interacting with it. Please know that al anon and this Board can offer new tools and hope for you. There are online meetings here 2xs A DAY AND CHAT ROOM OPEN 24/7.
You deserve to feel at peace and safe. Please keep coming back
We ty to live One Day at a Time,Focusing on ourselves, with gratitude for all we have and praying for guidance for our lives.
I too was in the same situation, my AH was also using cocaine at the time of my last pregnancy and when I gave birth to my daughter at home he was high and drunk. Looking back, the midwifes knew what was going on, but I was in labour and birthing so I didn't see it until afterwards. You should see the pictures of him holding his new born daughter - high as a kite! This literally broke my heart.
I am not able to make it to face to face meetings, but I have been attending the on-line meetings here and they have already been a great help. I've only been to two and plan for my third tonight.
This is a time when you need lots of rest, support, good food, and no stress. Please try to put yourself first right now. If you have any support system, now is the time to call it in. Can someone help you out with babysitting, housecleaning, shopping, so you can take care of you?
Sending you lots of good energy.
Namaste
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They are sick and we are crazy. Crazy no more. Amen.
Weak I don't think so ,we live with this mess stone cold sober , your anything but weak . You can help yourself by finding the nearest f2f meeting for yourself you may be able to find a day time one with baby sitting or perhaps a parent or friend can help for a couple of hours you need support from people have been where your at . What did u do for work before you married ? are thier courses u can take on line to improve your situation ? Independence is important in this kind of relationship . with this program yu will see that with or with out him you will be okay , courage will come .. Louise
I know all too well what it is like to be a single mom. I know that there are TONS of assistance out there for people who have no money or little money. You could contact your local social services department and get an appointment and apply for everything you can, so that you can get the help you need and support yourself. There is housing, food stamps, cash assistance, health care etc. If you need shelter, you can contact a women's center and find out if they can help you. I have been there and done that. That said, you don't have to make any rash decisions right now. You can get the help you need here and with Alanon to begin to heal yourself and work on you. Take care of you and your little ones. That is the most important thing you can do right now... There is hope!
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You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. -Buddha
The past has flown away. The coming month and year do not exsist. Ours only is the present's tiny point. -Mahmud Shabistanri
