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Not really on topic but wondering if anyone else has noticed a similarity between alcoholism and dementia....
I took my kids and moved away from their alcoholic father, into my mother's home. Over the last few years, my mother has gotten VERY forgetful. She'll repeat herself again and again. She won't remember a conversation we've had several minutes before. Sometimes she doesn't remember doing some things (eating, checking on lights out/doors locked, etc), especially if she's under stress.
We finally convinced her to see a specialist in June; she's refused to go back or have any tests done because "it's not that bad." I'm at the point now where I have to leave her a list of where I'll be, when the kids and I will be back, what we'll do for dinner, if she has any appointments, etc. One day last week, she had dinner ready 45 minutes before we were due home and accused me of changing the note I'd left to say we'd be home later. When my 11-year-old daughter was home sick one day, my mother gave her the medicine I'd left for her at the appropriate time. Ten minutes later, she yelled at the poor kid for taking the medicine without permission.
We don't have the money to live anywhere else right now, as much as I'd like to. And I think my mother needs to have someone here, too - she's almost 81. But some days, like today, if I didn't know better, I'd be looking for empty bottles.... but she is definitely not a drinker.
Without a diagnosis, I don't really know what to tell my kids. They won't keep what I tell them quiet, and they shouldn't have to live with secrets, but if I tell them my mother is sick, they'll want more than that -- and whatever I tell them, she will hear.
Time to get some sleep before another crazy week begins...
Linda
We've definitely moved from one state of insanity to another. I don't have a
Good to hear from you again Linda and even under the conditions. Dementia in alcoholism exists and it also exists by itself too. Your situation is not easy. It does have a large portion of insanity with it. I pray your Mom will get help even when I don't know how much help is available for her. Aging is a given and preparing for the consequence isn't often done. I gotta prepare for it myself by reading. (((((hugs)))))
Today is my Moms 85th Birthday, we celebrated and the family went to dinner. She looks absolutely fabulous, but she is senile.
But bless her she lives by herself and we will keep her that way as long as she is not dangerous to herself. I have to tell you the XAH is worse then her. Im not around him that much, but when I am , he will ask what time is it at least 3 times in 5 minutes. Alcohol does affect the brain. There are other things, he is always actively drinking and he has short term memory. He is like an 80 year old in his thinking and his walk.
It is similar isnt it. There is medication for dementia...
Now that I think about it, you're right. I'm sorry your Mom is having difficulties. I hope she will go back for more tests. It's that fear that keeps us from moving forward. Please be good to yourself. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
When i first entered the program trying to wrap my head around the fact that addiction was a disease. An old timer told me to think of the A as having dementia or altzimers diease because the simalarites were so close. I does sound as is your mother is expericing progrssive dementia, If you could keep track of some of the things you mentioned and get her to a doctor for a consult. There on meds out there now that can slow that progression of caught early enough. Blessings
Dementia in my family is what finally made me understand what Al-Anon had been trying to teach me for yrs . What a disease does to me > i immediatly become the watcher and I hover trying to anticipate thier every need once again loosing my life because of anothers disease ..that was a real eye opener for me .. When my mother in law was in early stages she had come to live with us as she progressed we all started to go a little crazy again , questioning ourselves turning ourselves inside out trying to make someone happy and nothing worked and one day I told my sponsor * my god I feel like i am living with an active alcoholic again* and wham I got it- seniors have social workers that will come and visit and also u can have her evaluated she may need to go into a home . this is pretty tough to deal with alone * sound familiar * yikes . there are also dementia support groups for families of and they are usually free again u will have people who are going thru the same things you are .. Maria Shryver wrote an amazing book on elzheimers for her kids , it will help your kids to understand what is happening , I found the easiest way was to just agree with them and they move on . We were accused of stealing her money , moving her things around to confuse her etc its pretty scarry but understanding will help u all . Louise
