The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by people, crazily attracted or trapped....
I see now that I don't have to be under that spell anymore. I am aware of who it is that "hooks" me now. I hope someday soon I can accept it and then start responding and reacting differently to those people.
I know I will feel awkward and that change is sometimes quite uncomfortable, but I know I will be able to do that soon.... I know I cannot change another person. I am powerless over people, places, things, situations... I can only control me and what I do. I am working on how to stop playing those games with other people. I will be able to gain my power back... Reactions are the hardest things to change, but I know I can do it... Thanks for reading
KEEP IT SIMPLE works for me ,when i first started this program I coldnt hold a thought for longer than a min , couldnt sit and read our books my mind was always rolling things over someone told me to simply do the the * opposite * to what i normally did and it would have to work out differently . So thats where i started , if in a situation i would normally fight back or try to justify my behavior , I stopped doing that and learned to say I am sorry u feel that way or you could b e right and walk away .the discussion was over . If I would normally sit and let the alcoholic or anyone else for that matter tell me what a usless individual I was or blame me for thier problems , I started to speak up and put an end to the conversation it is insanity to sit and let anyone talk to me this way .. Learning to respond and not react takes time , It was suggested to me that I start to pay attention to my physical body reactions in diff situations , one day after a confrontation with my husb I was ready to try and defend myself and I became aware that I was actually stepping forward , today I know that is attack mode .i caught myself mid way and actually stepped back taht gave me a few seconds to calm down and respond .. or not hehe Boundaries are for me not anyone else , if someone is treating me badly I ask them to stop or I am going to hang up the phone , if they dont stop I hang up ,it dosent take them long to figure out I am serious . Boundaries are actions for me .. I taught people how to treat me in the past by setting personal boundaries I got the respect I deserved .. no one likes or respects anyone who is a doormat . today u set a boundary by telling bf mom that you were busy and at work eventually she will get it just stay firm calling you at work is disrespectful to you and your employer ..
