I asked him "is it stamped?"

He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped.

That was GOOD news. It meant we didn't screw anything up on the paperwork (or I didn't screw anything up - shoot, I should take the credit, I was the one who filled everything out, he just signed the papers.) It meant the judge had reviewed everything and granted the divorce.

I tell you I have been waiting to receive that paperwork in the mail with the same anticipation that I would had I ordered something special from a catalog and was waiting to finally receive it. It was like a gift.

I was excited to leave work and get my own copies, which were waiting at my mail box. I opened the package and saw the stamp and embossed seal and knew it was definitely official. I sent a text message out to all my friends who'd been following the divorce the closest with me and received a lot of "woohoo!" responses. My best friend called me immediately and we chatted on the phone for quite a while.

I was talking with my sponsor on the phone this morning and she told me she's glad that I'm not feeling like I need to be sad and down about it. I told her that everything really felt final back when I moved out back in the beginning of July. That was when I went through some grieving. This is just paperwork. I'm also glad, though, too, that I'm not exactly perversely giddy about it, either. I'm happy, yes, but not feeling like I need to run outside and do cartwheels. Maybe "satisfied" is a better word.

I think what I was really waiting for was the ability to remove him as beneficiary to my life insurance and retirement savings. That, and take him off my health insurance. Knowing what risky behaviors he partakes in - worst would be drinking and driving - I'm glad he's off my plan now so if he should get in a terrible accident, it won't hit my health insurance.

So, it's all done now. Glad I was able to finalize everything. I would say "now I get to move on with my life", but really, I'd already started moving on the day I told him I wanted a divorce.